Thursday, May 28, 2009

Graduation Parties

Well it's known that my gurls and I have just graduated from college (WOOHOO LOL), so this weekend was dedicated to us celebrating. Friday night was my homie graduation party @ Club Prime and Saturday was the other homie's graduation/birthday party at her crib.

Friday night was fun. While on the line, Chocolate came and he was talking to Ashy. He said wassup to me but no hug (I was a lil offended but whatever). So we finally get in the club and link up with the rest of the gurls and of course millions of pictures were taken. One thing I was a lil taken aback about was the price of the drinks. I ordered goose n orange juice and that crap was $14. Now I know this is typical in NY but understand I have been partying in ATL and I have yet to pay over $10 for a drink out there.

I should mention that Chocolate didn't end up coming in because they were charging him $40 to get in when he was really only suppose to pay $20. I was disappointed (I was really disappointed lol) but it was whatever I guess. lol

Around 2:30am Ashy had to go cuz she had to pick up the boo and I wasn't ready to leave so she left alone. Now I don't want you guys to think I'm grimey because I kept asking if she was cool with that cuz if she wasn't I would leave with her. I mean it was one of my closest friend's party so of course I didn't wana leave until it was over but Ashy is like my sis so I didn't want her getting mad at me, but she said she was cool and I just made sure she texted me when she got to the car, when she picked him up, and when she got home lol.

Saturday night was the backyard party and I had a blast as well. All the homies were there and guess who came thru......CHOCOLATE!!!!! lol. So me n Ash are walking to the crib from the car and we see him standing there talking to some girl and I already felt some type of way lol, but it turned out to be my homegurl. So he gives Ash a big hug and doesn't say anything to me ERRRR. When he looks at me I said hey Chocolate but he didn't say anything so I was like wow ok I won't be saying anything else to him for the rest of the night.

So me n Ash go upstairs to get some food and drinks and as we was eating, Chocolate comes up and starts talking to Ash. I just mind my business and eat my food. So then Ash says Shay, Chocolate says you didn't say anything to him tonight and I'm like wow are you serious. I definitely said hi to him and he ignored me. So he's like no you didn't, I kept looking at you waiting to catch your eye to say wassup and you made it your duty to not look at me. (lmao) I'm like no when I seen you look at me (once) I said "Hi Chocolate" and you just turned away as if I was nothing and he's like nah I didn't hear you. So then he comes and stands by me and gives me a hug and we talk for a bit. (The butterflies were on full mode at this time lol).

The night goes on and its full of pics and jokes and cake and drinks lol. Then Ash tells me she's leaving and I'm like ok (once again I'm not leaving cuz this is my close friend party). So I go to put my bag down and when I come back, she's gone. So I'm using my homeboy phone to call her but she not pickin up. So I get Chocolate to call her and she said she had left and he's like bring your ass back over here. Then he hooks my arm to his and we walk to go meet up with her ( I was feeling special and freaking paparazzi caught it on camera lol). I should add that he came with a date (and shorty was not cute to me...and I'm definitely not hating. I just think he could do better but I heard that's his ride or die so whatever!!!). While we were walking I asked if this is he gonna get into trouble with shorty he came with and of course he said no. He a grown ass man and can do whatever he wants lol.

So we get to the car and he talks for a bit and then he leaves. So I'm talking to Ash and then she says she has to go and when I say give me a hug she says no because she's mad at me but rather not talk about it now. So of course I went to the bestie and tried to get her input and that's when I realized that because I was trying to entertain everyone, I neglected Ash. Knowing everyone at a party isn't all its cracked up to be. But overall, THIS WAS A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I Hate That Line

So last week I went shopping with some of the gurls and we was having a good time getting ready for the weekend festivities (I'll post about that soon). While shopping Harlem hits me up letting me know he was on vacation from work for the next 2wks which means he has nothing but free time to see me. Now you know I'm hype!!! lol

So I end the shopping a lil early and head out to the crib to chill with him. I had a pretty good time just chilling with him and talking and watching the game and such. The only downfall of the night was when it was time to go home that night and I had to take the train because he was too tired to drive me home (I don't know why I put up with this..the things I do when I like someone smh). Then we were suppose to chill the next day but he ended up cancelling ughh.

Well I started working this week and I found out that I would be off today and tomorrow so I made plans with Harlem. We were gonna do dinner and a movie and then I would stay by his place for the night. I was excited (I even went to the spa today). Well he hits me up this morning (and that was a sign for me that he was gonna cancel or something was going to happen that I wouldn't be too happy about). So of course he asks if we can reschedule for tomorrow night. I'M HEATED!!!!!! I just hate when I'm all set with my plans and it gets cancelled, especially when the person is always cancelling. So of course I was saying stuff like do you even like me?? Does it bother you when we can't chill??

His response...IF I DIDN'T LIKE YOU, YOU WOULDN'T BE IN MY CRIB!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that line because its not necessarily true. I could be in your house because you want a good f**k or you're bored or whatever other reason. Granted I do hope he likes me because I obviously like him, but sometimes I just don't know. I just feel like I get mixed signals. The only time I feel like he actually cares about me and has feelings for me is when we're together. Sometimes I ask myself why do I even continue with him...but we all know the answer to that....

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I haven't really had the chance to blog lately because it's been such a crazy week, partying and what not lol. Read previous blogs about senior week.

Well this past monday, May 18, 2009 I graduated from Clark Atlanta University with a BA in Finance!!!!!!!!! I was hype as hell because I worked so hard for it and made it my duty to be able to achieve this accomplishment in 4yrs. This day was suppose to be the happiest day of my life, but it wasn't. My brother got me soooooooo mad.

So after graduation, of course there was traffic (on foot) because everyone was talking to friends and family and snapping pictures everywhere, me included. So then my brother calls me and tells me to meet them by the car and I say ok. Then my lil sis called and said to meet them in front of my apartment so I said ok and went in front of my apartment. So we was taking pics and my mom came with some balloons and it was all good. Then we went inside because I had to use the bathroom and we had to call the restaurant to make sure we didn't need to make reservations. Then my brother calls all mad asking where we are at so we say in the house. He's all mad because he's hungry and I'm like well I'm hungry too, I been up since 530am and haven't eaten anything yet. My man goes into complete b*tch mode and stopped picking up the phone. We kept calling and calling and he was just sending us to voicemail, so we decided to just call a cab. When the cab says he'll be here soon, my brother decides to call and say come to the car. So now we are walking and looking for the car but we can't find it. Now do remember I have on heels and so does my mother and this dumb motherf**ker has us walking all over campus looking for him.

We keep calling him and at first he was just ignoring the call, but then he turns off his phone completely. So we call the cab again (since I was ignoring the 1st one we called and he left). As soon as the cab pulls up and we start getting into it, my brother pulls up right behind. Then this n**ga comes to the cab door like if yall wana take a cab then go ahead, give me my son's bag and snatches the bag and storms over to his car and drives off.

Usually this wouldn't have gotten to me but I was mad. It was bad enough that a lot of the important people in my life couldn't make it (dad, ash, steph, rach. jess, laurie, etc), but then he was making the day about him. Now I am not a selfish person, but May 18 was MY DAY!!!!!! It was suppose to be about me and only me. I don't care if my brother was starving, he was suppose to take my feelings into consideration before throwing a b**ch fit.

While we were in the cab to the restaurant, I started crying. I can't say it was only because of my brother tho. I think my bro had a big part but I was also so very sad that people couldn't be there to share this day with me. To add insult to injury, he didn't show up to the restaurant. He went back to where he was staying and packed his bag and went to the airport. So you know what I say..."F**K HIM!!!!"

Then last night he had the nerve to text me asking for the $60 I owe him. Well guess what, he aint getting it because he still owess me $100. UGHH FAMILY!!!!!

Lemme Introduce Chocolate

When I first started college, I wasn't really experienced in the dating field, let alone the sexual field. In high school I use to find any reason to not go out with a guy and just kick it with my girls, but once I got to college I realized this needed to change. (I actually realized this my senior year in hs when I couldn't find someone to go to the prom with).

So I encountered this man, let's call him Chocolate lol, and it turned out he was really cool with one of my close home girls. So he decided to get some info from my friend about me and I did the same. Once we were both satisfied, we decided to set up a date to actually hang out and get to know eachother. I came home one weekend to visit from school and he came by my house and I WAS SOOO SATISFIED!!! lol The next day we went to the movies and had a pretty good time just hanging out at the crib. We continued talking for a couple months before I gave up the goodies.

One saturday morning he comes and picks me up from my crib and we go back to his place. I was nervous as hell because I really liked him and I didn't want to do anything wrong to make him not like me. He turned out to be packing and the sex was GREAT.

Now I have this tendency to think like some men at times and believe that once a man has had sex with me, they will lose interest because that's all that they wanted. I took on this attitude with Chocolate and I think that turned him away.

Remember how I said that Chocolate and my homegirl are really cool, well because of that I see him on different occasions when he comes by her crib and EVERYTIME I see him, I get those butterflies. I feel like we are meeting all over again and I get a lil shy.

I haven't seen Chocolate since August at our last annual cookout and me and him were talking for a good while. I wanted to exchange numbers with him so we could keep in touch but that didn't end up happening. Anyway, I do still have feelings for him and I want us to start talking again.

When I come to this revelation, I find out that Chocolate and my sis from another mother are really cool as well. I tell her about my history with him and that I still have feelings for him and now she's trying to get us back together. Now I'm definitely not complaining but I'm nervous as hell. Saturday my homie is having a graduation party and Chocolate is suppose to be there so now I'm going crazy looking for an outfit to wear to look good lol. Isn't it crazy what we do when we know certain people are going to be where we are going to be?? I just hope he's still interested and now that I am back in NY, me and him can start talking on that level again. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Senior Dinner

I got my cap and gown today. I was so excited and as soon as I got home I put it on. I feel like its a lil too big but I can't do nothing about it now so its whatever. I also received my yearbook and my graduation picture looks great, if I do say so myself lol.

So I went to the senior dinner today and they were showing our graduation pics and giving speeches and food and such. Then they had awards for people. I RECEIVED ONE!!!! It basically says that they recognize me for my academic achievement. I am graduating with a 3.42 gpa and although I should be ecstatic, I'm a lil down. I was hoping to get my gpa back to being above a 3.5 but that didn't happen. I was taking 6 classes this semester and I got 2 As and 4 Bs, and I thought I was going to get at least 3 As and 3 Bs but I can't complain right..I mean I'm graduating on Monday lol.

Senior Week..The Beginning

I came back to Atlanta yesterday just so that I could partake in the senior festivities. (As you can see I'm putting my frequent flyer miles to use lol)

Last night we went to this club called Tongue & Lounge. Can you say POPPIN!!!!!!! We had a blast and I had about 4 drinks. Now let me back track here. This event was suppose to be open bar all night for ladies and we arrive around 12 or 1 in the morning. We go to the bar now to start the night right and there's no open bar. ERRHHH So we find the one of the people throwing the parties and ask wassup with this and they said open bar all night ended at 12. UMMM Sweetie if it was open bar all night, it shouldn't end til the club closes. But of course I didn't let that stop me. Just paid my money and got my drinks lol

Now I have this friend and me and him are always together. Everyone thinks we go out because of this but of course we just tell them its only friendship. So at the party my homeboy grabs me and pushes me onto my friend and says dance with him and stands in front of me so I couldn't move lol. People are too funny. Then at the end of the night he kept pushing me onto my friend so I could stay on his lap.

I should tell you guys that I do have a thing for my friend and after that I kept texting him so that we could stay the night together. Of course we didn't but I wanted to. I mean is it bad that I want this out of my system since we are graduating and we might not see eachother ever again???

Well tonight is the black and white affair at the Velvet Room and I got my dress and shoes ready. I'll let yall know how this evening turns out.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Disrespect to the Max!!!!!

What do you think is the most utmost form of disrespect ever????

I personally think it's someone spitting on you because it's a way of saying you are nothing and don't matter AT ALL!!!! This is what people do when they are saying you have no meaning in my life and it wouldn't matter to me if anything was to ever happen to you.

Well my sister had that said to her. Yesterday she had to go to court for her dead beat of a baby father and he was beyond pissed. He was grilling her the whole time and I'm guessing cursing her under his breath.

When court was over, he left right away. She had gone with her best friend, and they didn't leave the court house until about 30min after the dead beat left. They was standing outside and my sis just felt a presence upon her and by the time she turned around, she already felt something wet on her face. The dead beat was out there waiting for them to come out, and spit on her!!!! She said she actually smelled it and it reaked (as if he didn't brush his teeth that morning). The spit also landed on her bff jacket.

The next question, of course, is what did she do????? NOTHING!!!!!!!! smh sad to say. He did it so quick and just walked away like nothing happened. She had a long umbrella and was about to start swinging it at him but the bff stopped her and said think about the baby and what the court might say or something like that. I personally would've found a way to kick him in the nuts (5x) and then spit right back at him while he layed on the floor in pain...BUT THAT'S JUST ME LOL

What would you do if someone ever spit on you????

Backing Out of Graduation

The other day I was looking through the millions of pictures I have on facebook and I stumbled on my sister's graduation pictures. I remembered how we all drove there as a family and stayed at her apartment and went to the graduation late and pretended we was there the whole time. GOOD TIMES LOL.

Now I think about my graduation that is coming up in two weeks on May 18 (woohoo lol) and I can't help but feel sad that I won't have the same experience. A lot of my family members who I want there aren't coming anymore.

My dad said he wasn't coming from jump because my mom is going to be there. ERR Like are you serious??? He says he doesn't want to be around her and he just rather not go. Now you would think the man that paid for me to go to college for 4yrs and use to drive my friends and I back and forth for the first 2yrs would want to be there to see his daughter get her degree. NOOO!!!! Instead he wants act stupid. Like why can't you just deal with it. No one is asking for you to talk to my mom or anything, just come and support. I remember seeing the pic with my sis in the middle and my mom and dad on each side and I can't help but feel jealous because I want a pic like that as well.

Next you have my sis (same one as above) who can no longer attend my graduation because the stupid judge decided to say the paternity test is that day. Now I don't blame her or anything but I'm real upset because I'm really close with her. I skipped my graduation for my associate's degree to go to her graduation because I knew she wanted me to be there and she was getting her bachelor's. Now she can't even attend my own grad.

Then you have my oldest sister who, in my opinion, doesn't really have a valid excuse. It was all planned that she was going to drive down with my brother and yesterday my brother calls and tells me she says she's not going anymore because she has to take some test June 6 and hasn't started studying. So instead of her coming to support her sister and watch her attain her degree, she'll be home "studying". I think its a load of sh**.

Then you have my brother who was suppose to ride in the car with my other bro n sis but since they're not driving anymore, he can't go.

It's like everyone is backing out of this last minute and I can't do nothing about it. I'm still going to try and enjoy my big day but I will always feel that void because of the lack of support. Congrats to me right smh.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Back in BK

I'm back in Brooklyn for the week and I have so much to do. I have to get my hair done, mani, pedi n eyebrows, and I have to get my graduation dress.

Now this graduation dress may be a problem because I don't know what I want yet and I was looking online and couldn't really find anything. So I know this is going to be a task and my mom may get annoyed with me lol.

Let's not forget the partying, chilling with friends & booS lmao.

So you may not hear from me for the week but I will try my best to keep you guys updated. But I just need time to unwind and have some fun.

O and I got two of my final grades today: an A in Principles of Insurance and a B in International Finance Management. Now I knew I was getting that A in Insurance but I was ecstatic with the B 'cause I was struggling in that class. Now I'm waiting on my other 4 classes but I know I did good so you know I will be having a carefree week.

Just Say It From the Beginning!!!!!

So random friend hits me up today basically saying he wants to see me while I'm home. Now this friend, we'll call him ENY, is cool peoples and use to give me advice and such when I was dealing with Stuy. After Stuy and I broke up, ENY and I started talking and such. That summer we engaged in a sexual encounter lol. But then it seemed like he started acting funny. Like before we had sex, we use to talk everyday and he use to make sure he was the last person I spoke to at night before going to bed.

When the phone calls slowed and he always had an excuse for not wanting to chill I said f*** it. I'm not down for this shit and left him alone.

So he hits me up today:

ME: What's wrong with a 2 piece?

ENY: Nothing....I wanna see u wearing 1 in person

ME: That won't happen unless u go on vacay or the beach w/me

ENY: I can't see u with no clothes?

ME: Nope

ENY: why not?

ME: cuz I'm not fuckin u so y would I let u c me naked

Then he basically tells me he wants to have sex with me...or would like to

ME: We're friends

ENY: We weren't friends before?

ME: Yea but I had liked u then n I thought u did 2. But afta we had sex u was actin funny

ENY: No I wasn't actin funny. I did like you

ME: U was 2 me....made it seem like all u wanted was the sex. So I said wateva and left it at that

ENY: U deserve 2 know wasn't about the sex...I was feeling u...4real. But I had 2 much problemz...with fam, girls...everything was goin wrong and I needed time 2 just handle my shit 2 be honest. I didn't want 2 get involved knowin my head wasn't gonna be all there. I never wanted 2 disrespect u in anyway

ME: If that was the case u shoulda said it from jump n left us as friends. U shouldn't have had sex with me. But it is wat it is n its the past

Like I just don't understand men sometimes. If you feel you were going thru so much to the point where you don't want to build on anything with someone new, why not just say something from jump so that the female can know what she's getting herself into and if she even wants to be in that situation????? Well it's the past and that's where its staying. We will continue to just be FRIENDS, nothing more and nothing less!!!

I Hate Traveling Sometimes

I hate flying sometimes. I was stuck at the airport for about 4hrs because airtran wanna be cancelling and delaying flights left and right.

First off it starts off bad because I fly xfares a majority of the time because it's cheaper (sometimes anyway). So I initially wanted to catch the first flight of the day which was at 825am but of course that flight as well as the 1013am flight are booked. So the representative says come in for the 1233 flight. Now I get to the damn airport and the stupid lady says that flight is booked because one of the flights from this morning was cancelled, so the next available flight is at 249. I'm tight!!!! It was 11am meaning I would have to just sit there and wait...but of course I had no choice. Then these damn fools delay the flight to 325...then to 351. LIKE WAT DA HELL!!!!!!

I was planning on going straight to the hair salon but of course with all these delays that was a no go. I finally land at 6pm. uhghh

Airtran can't seem to function in bad weather. A little bit of drizzle will cause panic with these people. Imma need them to get their act together.