Vacations

I haven't blogged in what feels like ages mostly because I didn't really have anything to discuss. Everything in my life has been blah and I have been through an emotional roller coaster but nothing too serious.

Well I have gone on vacations with my girls. For memorial wknd I went to Cancun, Mexico and had a blast. Our hotel was nice and we met some new pple and drank day in and out. Every single one of my friends got drunk at least once, except for my alcoholic ass. I must've had like 10 shots, and drinks after drinks and I never got a buzz.. Of course we took millions of pictures and we got closer as we always do everytime we go on vacation together.

Two days after I came back from Mexico, I went to Los Angeles to celebrate my best friend's 23rd bday and we had a lot of fun there as well. Although it was just 3 of us that went, we were still able to have a good time and take just as many pics as we would have if all the girls were there. I loved LA but it isn't somewhere to visit if you are not financially stable so of course I did have my emotional roller coaster there as well, which I will discuss on another blog.

Now I am back home and tomorrow I go back to the hell hole I call my job. I hate that job but it's the only thing that is keeping money in my pocket so until I find a new gig (which I hope will happen really soon), I am stuck there. Pray for me pple because I need something soon before I have a complete meltdown.

Graduation Parties

Well it's known that my gurls and I have just graduated from college (WOOHOO LOL), so this weekend was dedicated to us celebrating. Friday night was my homie graduation party @ Club Prime and Saturday was the other homie's graduation/birthday party at her crib.

Friday night was fun. While on the line, Chocolate came and he was talking to Ashy. He said wassup to me but no hug (I was a lil offended but whatever). So we finally get in the club and link up with the rest of the gurls and of course millions of pictures were taken. One thing I was a lil taken aback about was the price of the drinks. I ordered goose n orange juice and that crap was $14. Now I know this is typical in NY but understand I have been partying in ATL and I have yet to pay over $10 for a drink out there.

I should mention that Chocolate didn't end up coming in because they were charging him $40 to get in when he was really only suppose to pay $20. I was disappointed (I was really disappointed lol) but it was whatever I guess. lol

Around 2:30am Ashy had to go cuz she had to pick up the boo and I wasn't ready to leave so she left alone. Now I don't want you guys to think I'm grimey because I kept asking if she was cool with that cuz if she wasn't I would leave with her. I mean it was one of my closest friend's party so of course I didn't wana leave until it was over but Ashy is like my sis so I didn't want her getting mad at me, but she said she was cool and I just made sure she texted me when she got to the car, when she picked him up, and when she got home lol.

Saturday night was the backyard party and I had a blast as well. All the homies were there and guess who came thru......CHOCOLATE!!!!! lol. So me n Ash are walking to the crib from the car and we see him standing there talking to some girl and I already felt some type of way lol, but it turned out to be my homegurl. So he gives Ash a big hug and doesn't say anything to me ERRRR. When he looks at me I said hey Chocolate but he didn't say anything so I was like wow ok I won't be saying anything else to him for the rest of the night.

So me n Ash go upstairs to get some food and drinks and as we was eating, Chocolate comes up and starts talking to Ash. I just mind my business and eat my food. So then Ash says Shay, Chocolate says you didn't say anything to him tonight and I'm like wow are you serious. I definitely said hi to him and he ignored me. So he's like no you didn't, I kept looking at you waiting to catch your eye to say wassup and you made it your duty to not look at me. (lmao) I'm like no when I seen you look at me (once) I said "Hi Chocolate" and you just turned away as if I was nothing and he's like nah I didn't hear you. So then he comes and stands by me and gives me a hug and we talk for a bit. (The butterflies were on full mode at this time lol).

The night goes on and its full of pics and jokes and cake and drinks lol. Then Ash tells me she's leaving and I'm like ok (once again I'm not leaving cuz this is my close friend party). So I go to put my bag down and when I come back, she's gone. So I'm using my homeboy phone to call her but she not pickin up. So I get Chocolate to call her and she said she had left and he's like bring your ass back over here. Then he hooks my arm to his and we walk to go meet up with her ( I was feeling special and freaking paparazzi caught it on camera lol). I should add that he came with a date (and shorty was not cute to me...and I'm definitely not hating. I just think he could do better but I heard that's his ride or die so whatever!!!). While we were walking I asked if this is ok...is he gonna get into trouble with shorty he came with and of course he said no. He a grown ass man and can do whatever he wants lol.

So we get to the car and he talks for a bit and then he leaves. So I'm talking to Ash and then she says she has to go and when I say give me a hug she says no because she's mad at me but rather not talk about it now. So of course I went to the bestie and tried to get her input and that's when I realized that because I was trying to entertain everyone, I neglected Ash. Knowing everyone at a party isn't all its cracked up to be. But overall, THIS WAS A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!

Senior Dinner

I got my cap and gown today. I was so excited and as soon as I got home I put it on. I feel like its a lil too big but I can't do nothing about it now so its whatever. I also received my yearbook and my graduation picture looks great, if I do say so myself lol.

So I went to the senior dinner today and they were showing our graduation pics and giving speeches and food and such. Then they had awards for people. I RECEIVED ONE!!!! It basically says that they recognize me for my academic achievement. I am graduating with a 3.42 gpa and although I should be ecstatic, I'm a lil down. I was hoping to get my gpa back to being above a 3.5 but that didn't happen. I was taking 6 classes this semester and I got 2 As and 4 Bs, and I thought I was going to get at least 3 As and 3 Bs but I can't complain right..I mean I'm graduating on Monday lol.

Senior Week..The Beginning

I came back to Atlanta yesterday just so that I could partake in the senior festivities. (As you can see I'm putting my frequent flyer miles to use lol)

Last night we went to this club called Tongue & Lounge. Can you say POPPIN!!!!!!! We had a blast and I had about 4 drinks. Now let me back track here. This event was suppose to be open bar all night for ladies and we arrive around 12 or 1 in the morning. We go to the bar now to start the night right and there's no open bar. ERRHHH So we find the one of the people throwing the parties and ask wassup with this and they said open bar all night ended at 12. UMMM Sweetie if it was open bar all night, it shouldn't end til the club closes. But of course I didn't let that stop me. Just paid my money and got my drinks lol

Now I have this friend and me and him are always together. Everyone thinks we go out because of this but of course we just tell them its only friendship. So at the party my homeboy grabs me and pushes me onto my friend and says dance with him and stands in front of me so I couldn't move lol. People are too funny. Then at the end of the night he kept pushing me onto my friend so I could stay on his lap.

I should tell you guys that I do have a thing for my friend and after that I kept texting him so that we could stay the night together. Of course we didn't but I wanted to. I mean is it bad that I want this out of my system since we are graduating and we might not see eachother ever again???

Well tonight is the black and white affair at the Velvet Room and I got my dress and shoes ready. I'll let yall know how this evening turns out.

Back in BK

I'm back in Brooklyn for the week and I have so much to do. I have to get my hair done, mani, pedi n eyebrows, and I have to get my graduation dress.

Now this graduation dress may be a problem because I don't know what I want yet and I was looking online and couldn't really find anything. So I know this is going to be a task and my mom may get annoyed with me lol.

Let's not forget the partying, chilling with friends & booS lmao.

So you may not hear from me for the week but I will try my best to keep you guys updated. But I just need time to unwind and have some fun.

O and I got two of my final grades today: an A in Principles of Insurance and a B in International Finance Management. Now I knew I was getting that A in Insurance but I was ecstatic with the B 'cause I was struggling in that class. Now I'm waiting on my other 4 classes but I know I did good so you know I will be having a carefree week.

Brooklyn Getaway

I'm back in ATL after a nice getaway back home to Brooklyn. I must say it was exactly what I needed because I was beyond stressed in school with all the homework and group projects and presentations, which aren't even over yet. I was a little stressed at home though because I had things to do for school, and I was only able to complete one which I completely bullshitted (excuze my language).

Let's get a recap of what happened at home. I partied like 3 days, went out to eat, shopped, chilled with the fam, and umm met someone lol.

First off the sis Ash took me out to Squadz (if your from bk I'm sure you heard of the place) and I seen some old faces. Music was definitely popping and drinks were good, so I had a pretty good night. That was thurs night. Friday spent the day with the lil sis, and yes people she seems to be doing well to me despite that whole suicide letter. We went shopping and she tried on some prom dresses but in the end she didn't get any of em cuz mom dukes didnt like lol. Friday night I ended up back in Squadz for the homie Jenell bday and that was a GREAT night. It was like a hs reunion because everyone was there. Music was great, drinks were coming from left and right. I must say the highlight of the night to me was when this man who was by our table the whole night approached me when we were leaving and whispered in my ear "If I was 6ft tall I'd definitely take you home tonight". lol Sat chilled with the sis n moms and spent the day at the salon. Then that night went to Benihana (I so love that place).

Sunday pretty much was another highlight of my break. Met up with this guy, lets call him Brownsville. He came thru and scooped me up, but we didnt really do anything since I had plans for the night. He was already kind of on my bad side because the night before he kind of played himself. But we drove around and then he dropped me off at the bestest crib. We was talking in the car for quite sometime and he kept kissing my hand, which was cool. The only thing that's kind of umm different about him is all the tats. I mean this guy has tattoos everywhere on his body; neck, arms, hand, chest...you name it he has it. I mean I find tats very sexy but with all that he has how in the hell would I ever let him come chill with me at the crib when mom or dad come thru. They would be like what the hell (yall know how caribbean esp. haitian parents are).

Anyway after I left him went and partied with the HS crew again and it was so much fun. Took pics and was acting a damn fool imitating songs and sh**. Good times. That night I also realized I actually do like my homeboy. I always found him attractive but he was just the homie. But that night, idk, I kind of felt something for him, but of course the bestest told me not to even think about it because he's a jerk, which I already knew. I doubt I act on it tho because I know how he is with females, and I also know that I wouldn't want to ever ruin the friendship because we usually can talk about anything. Doesn't it suck when you develop feelings for a friend but know you could never act on it ughhh.

NY For the Weekend

As previously mentioned I am back home in the NYC for the wknd. Im excited because its somewhat relaxation time. Lets not include the two group projects I'm sort of working on from home ughh.

I went on an interview today. It was actually the 2nd interview with the company and it went pretty well. I have a final interview with them in May after graduation. I think I'm going to get the job, but let's not jinx it. I'm still job hunting and interviewing just to have options.

Well my weekend is going to consist of hanging with some of my girls, party here and there, visiting people I haven't seen in a while and dinner with the fam. O and how could I forget about church on sunday; my mother would so kill me if I didn't go. I have a couple of dates lined up as well, hopefully they don't annoy me and I cancel or something.

I will try and keep yall updated on my weekend but I'm not promising anything. Hanging with some of my sisters now and who knows what I'm doing tonight.

Missing Out

I was suppose to go home this past weekend for my aunt's surprise birthday party. I had it all planned out that I would fly home on thursday, get the hair, nails, eyebrows n feet done, and be ready to have some fun with the fam (something that hasn't been done in a very long time). I already had a dress and shoes for the event. I WAS READY!!! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make it.

My genius of a boss decided to do schedules 3 wks in advance and I had to work this wknd, so I had to kiss my plans goodbye. At first I was mad because I really wanted to go home but then I'm like whatever I'll see everyone next time. I figured it would be the same family members that I see all the time, just with some real good food and some nice haitian music (something I haven't experienced in a while). Then we had the house party so I was all good and didn't really care I didn't go.

So yesterday I call my dad, aunt and sister to find out how the party went. Boy did they all make me jealous. Turns out all my family from my dad's side came out for this shindig. People traveled to NY from Florida, Boston, Canada, and whereever else just to come and surprise my aunt. (And my a** couldn't come from ATL ugh). I herd it was a really nice event and all my cousins were there having fun and yet again I was missing.

This is the bad part about going far away to school. I always seem to miss out on the events that are going on back at home either because I have to work or I don't have the money to buy a plane ticket. I must've missed out on like 5 fiestas because I wasn't in town and each time everyone is asking my dad and sister, Where's Shay? That's only family functions, let's not even get into how many parties I've missed out with friends. I have to find out what people had on, who was acting a fool, was there any drama, and everyother thing a nosy person like myself would like to know. I mean I haven't seen a majority of my family in eons and here comes a big event where everyone comes out and I'm missing. So nerve racking.

This is one of the reasons why I want to move back home after graduation. I'm tired of missing out on family and friend events all because I'm far away. I just hate missing out and not being apart of the memories and the pictures and stuff.

On a brighter note, I WILL BE COMING BACK HOME IN 2 DAYS!!!! lol

Self-Conscious Drunk

Any one that knows me knows that I am usually a shy individual who doesn't really speak much. Then once I get use to the people, I open up more and tend to act more like myself (sometimes). I am this way because I don't like to be judged, especially when I'm the one judging myself the most.

I don't really like to party because I don't want to dance half the time, unless there are some drinks in my system. When I was in HS I played the corner all the time, and don't let me find a seat lol. This is a bad thing, but its the truth. Usually when I go to a party and I don't drink, I don't have as much fun. Don't get me confused for an alcoholic though; I don't drink to get drunk. A majority of the time, the liquor doesn't have an effect on me but I act as though it does. I can count on one hand the amount of times I actually got drunk.

Last night, my housemates and I threw a house party and had a bowl of alcohol and punch. We had a mike for people to sing on and music was blasting and everyone was just having a good time. My housemates started to feel the effects within their first cup, but of course I didn't. I actually may have gotten a lil tipsy by like the 3rd or 4Th cup, but it wasn't nothing to me at all. But in all honesty I used the fact that I was drinking to my advantage and started acting carefree dancing with everyone and singing on the mike, things I would never do if I wasn't "intoxicated".

Today we are discussing last night's events and they were all like Shay you were drunk and of course I said no I wasn't. We go back and forth because they don't believe me just because of my actions from last night. I try to explain to them, yet again, that I have a high tolerance level but they swear they know me. They bring up the time we went to the club and I had 2 drinks and I was acting carefree. So then I end up telling them I use alcohol as an excuse as to why I act this way, but in actuality I know what I'm doing. I just don't care. So Shan says how bout you just loosen up.

To me that's easier said then done because as I mentioned before I care about how people judge me. I sometimes feel stupid doing things, but with drinks in my system I can blame it on the a-a-alcohol lol. I judge myself severely and therefore I think others do as well. The main reason is because I'm so tall and not the skinniest person in the world so I feel I need to pick my actions carefully. Unlike most people, I don't like to be the center of attention; I become extremely nervous.

I always wonder if I will change, but I really don't know. Most of my friends I'm use to being around all the time so I act carefree. But with my new roommates I'm meeting new people all the time so I go into shy mode. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing but I will try and see if I can work on it. But I wonder if others do the same thing as me and use alcohol as an excuse to really be themselves and strip away all the shyness.