Thursday, September 24, 2009

Birthday Fiasco

So Stuy's birthday passed recently (more like last month lol) and as the female in his life I was suppose to do something with him so I suggested dinner. Then he responds that if we're only doing dinner then we should just do dinner with his family. Whoaaa buddy lol. I told him I had to get back at him with that one...I mean seriously was I ready to meet the fam?? Eventually I agreed and said ok we can all do dinner and I asked what restaurant were we going to. At first he was like he doesn't know. The day before his birthday he tells me that his mom is going to cook and we will be having dinner at his parents house. Inside I'm freaking out like what did I just get myself into lol.

The day of his bday I put on this nice long black n white dress (my short dresses would've been inappropriate i think lol) and I head over to his grandmother's house to go see him. He greets me at the door and tells me how beautiful I look (I was very hype...its nice to get compliments lol). We hang out and go get some food. I try and pay for his food and he kept refusing and putting my money away, which was nice but I really wanted to pay. Back at his house we end up doing us (if you know what I mean lol) and then we just lay in the bed in the nude and talk. Then the inevitable happens....his grandmother comes home and just opens his door. I freaked!!!! His body was sort of covering my lower body so it was really just my chest exposed so I just put my arm over my chest and cover my eyes and keep repeating "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" and he screams out "grandma, you don't knock" and she is in shock and just closes the door.

Now I'm like okay well now I'm definitely not going to dinner. Like I just experienced a very embarrassing moment and then for me to go and sit at the dinner table like nothing happened...hell no. For all I know this lady will just keep thinking "look at this little whore". He suggested I come to his parent's house and if I do feel uncomfy I can leave and he'll tell everyone that something came up so I agreed.

That walk to his parents' house was like walking to my doom, I was beyond nervous. When we get there, he introduces me to everyone and his sister asks why we took so long and this dummy gonna say its shay's fault...I wanted to die. His grandmother was sitting right there and I know she automatically thought about what she had walked into.

But all in all the night went well and his family was pretty cool and it seemed like they shared everything with eachother which was nice. After that night he asked me how would I feel about us becoming official and I said that would be nice so guys....I now have a boyfriend lol.

Family Feud

Now there's always been drama in my family because my father's side of the family doesn't get along with my mother's side...and that's being nice. I should say my father's side HATES my mother's side. But you would think that these grown adults would put their differences aside at this time and just get through with the planning of my father's funeral arrangements....but nooooo.

Now to top things off, there's threats being made and my mother and some of her family and friends dont think she should go to the funeral or the wake. Now everytime they ask me my opinion on this matter, I say that I think that she should go. I don't care how many times they threaten or talk about my mother, I feel like they would talk about her even more if she didn't show up to her own husband's services. But in the end the decision is up to her and she's going to do what she wants to do.

I just feel like this isn't a time to be worried about drama and everything. I think this is a time to be focused on my father and my father alone and everyone that is dealing with all this other nonsense just doesn't matter to me. I'm so over everyone. Tomorrow is the wake and Saturday is the funeral and burial so we will see if everything is going to go as smoothly as I would like. I will keep yall posted.

Monday, September 14, 2009

He's Really Gone!!! R.I.P. Daddy

I really can't believe he's gone....

So yesterday started off normal for me, but it ended in the worst way possible. I was at work just doing my normal routines and then my sister calls me but since I was on the floor I couldn't pick up the phone so I texted her and asked her what happen. I was about to get off in like 10-15min so when she texted me, I didn't look at my phone right away. I go and clock out of work and then I look at my phone and the message read "Dad pass away in the hospital". When I say my heart literally stopped, I mean it. I was shocked so I called her to see if I read it correctly and my brother picked up. So I'm like what did Jess just texted me and he's like just come home...come home now. And that's how I knew it was the truth. I automatically called Ash to tell her and thats when the tears started flowing. I was like "Ash my father died today" and she was like where are you and I let her know I was leaving my job headed home and she said she would meet me there.

On the trainI was listening to my RnB playlist and I just had my hands over my eyes to keep the tears from falling. When I finally got service people were asking me if everything was ok on twitter and right when krys hit me up the worst song came on...."Dance with my father" by Beyonce. The tears just began streaming down my face and I knew everyone was looking at me on the train but I just knew I needed to get home.

When I got in front of my house I saw that there were a bunch of people at my house and the tears began again but I got it together to walk into the house. I was only able to say hi to one of the guests and my oldest sis and I broke down and started crying and ran up the stairs to my mom's room. My mom and sis came up to console me but I just had to get out the house. I was getting texts and bbms and phone calls from people and I just couldn't believe this was happening.

Ash came to the house andwas just holding me and I was just crying on her shoulders. We all knew this day would come but not this soon. Steph came later and we talked and everything. I was really happy that so much people reached out to me but in the end the pain is crazy. I had a real special relationship with my dad and it makes me miss him more and more each day.

Now we have to plan the funeral and go through this family drama and I dont know how I will make it. I just wish things would go back to normal when my parents were together and everyone was happy.

I love you daddy and I will miss you. You will always be in my heart and I knowyou are in a better place now watching over me. May you rest in peace!!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Just So Much

So much has been happening in my life and I just haven't had the time to blog about em. From now on I'm going to try the whole blogging from my phone thing to stay up on it. I will bring yall up to speed with the shananagans going on with this blasted family of mine and my life in general so stay tuned people. Shay needs to vent lol