Stuy and I have been talking on a regular basis now and I have to admit I like it. I am remembering why I did like him so much; we always had good convo and he always seemed like he genuinely cared about me and what I had to say and what was going on in my life.
So last night we stayed up talking til 430am (mind you I had to wake up at 645am for my 8oclock class) but that didnt stop me. I told him how I really felt then and now...Im only going to elaborate on the important parts of the conversation:
Stuy: wen u ready to change 4 me, leme kno
Stuy: until then idk wat to tell u Shay
Me: y do i need to change 4 u. thats y we didnt work...u wasnt satisfid wit me. u wanted me to change. 2 b the person u wanted, 2 do all u asked n wanted
Stuy: thats not the case. i dont want u 2 change but damn, atleast muthafuckn compromise. u so stuck in ya fuckn ways u dont realize ur impossible to deal wit and THATS y we didnt work
Me: not every situation can b compromised. u just want so much its ridiculous
Stuy: if i want too much wats the point in even talkin to me??
Me: u really want me 2 answer that
Stuy: yes i do
Me: becuz i still have feelings 4 u. u did shit 2 me that hurt n there were plenty of times i wanted 2 call it quits but i couldnt. n the way we ended was the only way 2 try n let u go. but wen u hit me up my feelings came bak. i rememba all ur ways yet the attraction n shit is still there
Stuy: damn, i aint know that
Then he wanted to know wat did he do to hurt me and I gave him like 3 examples and situations we was in that affected my feelings towards him.
Stuy: im not saying i was the perfect partner while we was together, but i neva knew the shit i did bothered u like that. u really kept ya feelings to yaself alot. im sorry 4 da shit i did, i neva meant to hurt u. i cared about u tho. although i did some shit @ times, i treated u good. and thought that would b enuff to keep u happy
We ended up talking on the phone after that for the next 2 hrs about us. He then asked if I am willing to drop the other guys in my life to fuck with him again??? Ummm idk is what I said.
We started talking and shit and it felt like normal times again...the good times when shit was sweet between us and it felt real good because I still do have feelings for him but idk if I'm willing to drop the others to give us a go again because I dont know if he's worth it. I mean would I be like those dumb girls who deserve to be treated badly because they go back to the men who hurt them?? Is it really a wise decision to invest my time in him again?? Im actually leaning towards a yes because it just feels so right but in the end I dont know. I need advice...even though in the end it is my decision. THIS IS JUST SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!