Thursday, March 26, 2009


Yesterday it dawned on me that I will be graduating from COLLEGE in about a month.!!!! Now of course I'm excited because I'm getting my degree, but I am also scared as hell.

Most may ask what am I so scared about: THE REAL WORLD!!! I mean I have been in school all of my life and I am about to be finished and I have to get a full time job and start paying bills and loans and such. I think what scares me the most is the fact that I don't really have any definite plans after graduation. I mean I want to get a job, get a place, get a car; basically all the norms that everyone wants. But its easier said then done.

I sometimes feel like a failure when I speak to my schoolmates and they tell me they got the job that WE interviewed for, while I didn't. I mean I don't have anything real lined up for when I graduate. I am still interviewing but I'm scared that I won't find something before leaving this institution.

Besides the whole job thing, my living arrangements has me feeling some type of way as well. I mean if I am moving back to NY, I can always go live with one of my sisters (cause living with my mother or father is not an option in my book lol), but in all honesty I DON'T WANT TO!!!! One of my sisters has a baby and she lives in a studio apartment. That's good and all for her and the baby, but where do I fit in. Sleeping on the same bed as her, living out of my suitcase, never having any privacy. I DO NOT...I repeat I DO NOT want to be living like that. Then there's the other sister who has a better living arrangement, but in the end there would still be no privacy and I may still have to live out of my suitcase. It's like no matter where I go in NY I will be living out of my suitcase feeling like a VISITOR and who really wants to feel like that. The only solution is to get my own place but we all know how expensive it is to live on your own in NY and I know for a fact I'm not ready for that yet (unless my parents are paying, then I'm all for it lol).

But if I were to move to another state for a job, then I would be getting my own apartment because I'd be on my own. The only thing with that is it would most likely be cheaper then a NY apartment. However I WANT TO COME BACK TO NY. I'm tired of being away from home and missing out on events and sh*t. Even if eventually I do have to leave, I'll be ready (hopefully). ughhh this is just too much.

But first thing first, I need to secure a job ASAP!!! That's my main concern. I'm actually willing to move to another state because I don't want to make the same mistake I made earlier this year by letting a job slip right out of my hands. Pray for me!!!!


  1. When I graduated I couldn't get any job lined up like some of my classmates. I interviewed a ton of times but nothing fell through. I thought about moving to another state but decided to stay as close to NY as possible because of me trying to persue acting. I ended up getting transfered from the Bank of America calling center I worked in while at school to one here in Newark.

    I think in this job market it's going to take a lot of looking outside the box for an opportunity. Things are real ugly out there but I think if you're using every form of technology to your advantage (those resume sites, craigslist, etc) you may find something. If you worked somewhere while at school maybe you can get transfered.

    Also, don't sleep on living in northern NJ and commuting to NY. It's WAY cheaper, you can get a very nice apartment, and your still on the scene. A city like Fort Lee, Seacacus, Jersey City, Hoboken, or Newark would give you a lot of affordable options. I live in Newark and feel like it gets a rep much worse than it deserves, but that's me :)

  2. Girl. I'm totally in the same boat. I'm trying to apply for grad school and find a job but it's so stressful. It just sucks because up to this point, everything was spelled out really clearly and now it's up to us to define our next paths but it'll be ok. Take it one day at a time and try your best. =)

  3. Congrats che. Really proud of you.

  4. Be afriad, But you'll be Good, Just Hustle.

  5. hm...maybe you should buy yourself a dresser and a curtain for your clothes and some privacy. lol...but don't worry..things will fall into place. keep ya head up chica