Monday, March 23, 2009

Knowing From the Start

I often find myself thinking about my sister and how her life turned out. Don't get me wrong, she's happy for the most part but I know deep inside she's very sad. Let me explain...

She was in a long relationship with a man that she fell in love with and even played "stepmother" to his son. Everything seemed to be well between them until that day came when she read the words "POSITIVE" on a stick. She called and told me and I was just as shocked and wanted to know what she was going to do. I mean she was 22 (23 now), just starting nursing school, and didn't have a real income to start a lifen with a child on her own.

We kept going through the dilemma on whether she should keep the child or not. Honestly, I didn't want her to keep it because I didn't want to see her struggle, but in the end it was her decision. Lets not get it twisted, I love my nephew with all myheart. One day she would say she's going to abort, then the next day she'd say she's keeping it. In the end, she kept the baby.

Now lets talk about this so called "baby father" of hers. When he found out, he automatically demanded that she get rid of the baby and if she didn't, then "THE RELATIONSHIP WAS OVER!!!!". Excuse my language but WHAT THE FU**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now i knew I didn't really like this man for a reason, but damn. So when she finally told him she was keeping it, she broke up with him. (Praise the Lord). But of course with this being his baby, he would always be around. I doesn't it. Well throughout the pregnancy, I must have encountered my sister crying a million times because this man was always making it his duty to make her life hell.

Let's speed up. He didn't come to the hospital for the birth nor did he sign the birth certificate. Talk about CREEP. So now he calls himself a dad because he visits maybe once or twice a month...three times if we're lucky UGHHHH. He didn't even want to spend more than $20 on a baby mattress SMFH.

Here's my issue: I knew this was exactly how it was going to be once he told her to get rid of it and he wanted no part with the baby. But my sis felt she could handle taking care of the baby on her own (with the help of our family of course). Yea this is working out and everything, but I feel bad for my nephew in the long run as well as my sister. She calls me crying at times about this whole situation and its not like I can just say "Told you this was going to happen". That would just be plain wrong! I sit there and listen and offer the advice or can or try my best to console her but it hurts me so much to know I can't fix this problem for her like I always use to do when we were growing up.

Then I think about baby Nasir and my heart aches for him. I know he's going to grow up hating his father for the way he treated his mother as well as how he acted towards him and will act towards him in the future. Not that I feel bad for the bastard but its really not a healthy relationship.

This just makes me wonder for the millionth time ( yea i know thats not a word), why do women feel they don't need a man to be there for them and their child. Even if you don't need them emotionally, what about financially or vice versa. I'm just not with the whole " I can do it myself" thing. I mean sure a lot of women do make it themselves but its usually not by choice. If you know from jump the man in your life doesn't want the baby, why keep it and know you are about to be in the struggle of your life. I guess to each its own but that's just my opinion especially with how I see this whole ordeal is affecting my sister and the baby.

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