It Just Isn't the Same

Last night I made plans with Harlem for us to chill and I stay the night since we were both off today. So after work I take the train there and we chill and talk for a bit when I get there. He then goes into the shower, since he just came from the gym, and I take one after a long day at work. We watch cartoons until we fall asleep. Well he fell asleep, I continued watching.

I didn't really get a good nights rest because he was basically holding me, kind of cuddling I guess, and that was all cool because it does make me feel special, but its not something I like for the whole night. The only reason is because it makes it difficult to get a good nights rest. Every position I changed to made me fee so uncomfortable and I also didn't want to hurt his hand because it was basically underneath me. The television was also pretty loud so I kept waking up like every 20-30min.

Anyway, I wake up and I'm just laying there watching tv while he's still holding me while sleeping. Then we start messing around and blah blah blah lol. Now I already felt some type of way because the whole time he never kissed me. Now at first I'm like maybe its because we just woke up and there's the whole morning breath thing and he just felt it be best if we didn't kiss. After he comes back to the bed and we are just watching tv and talking, but he's kind of like on the other side of the bed at the edge and there's this big gap between us. Now all I'm thinking is what the hell. Usually he has his head on my chest, basically using my breast as a pillow or he has me laying on him. Either way he always made sure that we were in eachother's arms but today this wasn't the case.

So I didn't want it to be that I'm overreacting so I hit up the besty an I'm expaining this to her and she's like say something to him. So I ask him why is he so far away from me, do we have beef or something. His response "Well whenever I'm laying on my right side I like to be at the edge of the bed. It just feels more comfortable. I even do that when I'm here by myself."

Now I'm like that's a load of crap because this isn'the first time I've slept over let alone chill with him in his room. So I'm telling the best how things just feel different between me and Harlem and how he hasn't kissed me the whole time I've been with him. So she says either he has a girl or he just doesn't want to get too attached. So I say to him why does it feel like things are different and he's like with what and I'm like between us and he's like in what way. So I say I don't know but it just seems different and he goes we'll talk about this when I get out the shower and walks out the room. We never spoke about this again smh.

The ride home today was completely silent and I fell asleep. When we get back to brooklyn I wake up and we make small talk about things we hear on the radio and such. We get in front of my house and as I'm getting out the car, he gets out also. Then he comes around and gives me a hug and says I'll hit you up later and tell your sister I said hi, if she remembers me. So I just say ok and yea she does remember you and I go inside. I DIDN'T EVEN GET A GOODBYE KISS!!!!

Am I overreacting?? Should I not feel some type of way about not getting a kiss the whole time, about the way he was acting at his house? I didn't even mention that when we were leaving his crib it was pouring rain and I had my umbrella, purse and over night bag and he had nothing in his hand and he didn't even offer to hold my bag. IDK Maybe I'm just reading into things too much.

Last but not least, we didn't eat anything and he didn't even ask me f I wanted some food but I go on twitter and his status says he's at ihop waiting on his food and how he's starving. I think it's time I call it quits with Harlem!