Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Just Don't Know What I Want

There is a slight possibility that Stuy is back in the picture.

Ok let me rewind. The other day we are speaking and he says he wants to see me so we decide to hang out today by his crib. So throughout the day I am pampering myself (both for myself and for him i have to admit) and I hit him up to confirm that we will be seeing each other later in the evening. He then says "Be at my house at 645pm and if you're not, don't bother coming". I was like wtf!!! So I text back and tell him he is being rude and is all that necessary and he says he's just letting me know from jump. Fine!!!

I go home after the hair salon and try and kill time and then I leave my crib at 6 so I can get there on time. I then realize I may be running late and even though I don't want to admit it, I didn't want to not be able to see him or chill. Luckily I made it by his house at 647 and everything.

When I get inside, I just had a rush of feelings shoot inside of me and I'm thinking damn he looks good. I'm nervous as hell and I'm sitting at the edge of the bed with my coat and bag on my lap just looking at the television. Long story short, we end up talking and such n such and in the end he ask why aren't we together and he tells me he misses me and asks me what is it that I want??? The only question I wasn't able to answer was "what do I want" because I honestly don't know. It's like I miss this man and I love him and I'm comfortable with him, but I'm not quite sure if I want to be with him EXCLUSIVELY. I wish there was a sign to let me know what I should do.


  1. Girl I feel your pain. I am not quite getting his ultimatum of be here on time or don't come at all, nut whateva, whateva. Seems you to need to have a sit down of what you really want. Clearly there is something holding you back and you need to figure out if you can get past whatever that may be. I think we've all been there before and it's not something you can decide on sitting on the edge of his bed.


  2. yea i know...everyone tells me only i can decide and im really trying to figure it out and trying to see if im willing to put my all into that relationship for a 3rd time.