Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

At 12am I reached for my phone to be the 1st to call my dad and wish him a happy birthday. Every year my siblings and I compete to see who would be the 1st and every year I would beat them. I start typing in the letters D-A...and there's no matches. It then clicks to me that you are no longer here with me. You are now stored under my brother's name since he now has your phone.

Today would've made you 58years old but you would still look like you were in your 40s and would still be acting like you were in your early 30s. I miss the jokes you use to tell and the childish games you played just to get a good laugh. I miss seeing you smile and seeing your taxi cab pull up outside at the end of the day. I miss being able to call you just to see how your day is going or letting you know about something that just happened to me. I miss talking to you and spending time just watching movies.

The other day I felt like I wasted time not being around you when you were here with me. I went away to school and only got to see you every other month if I was lucky, but luckily I made sure I spoke to you everyday. When I did come home, I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends. Now I wish I would've spent more time with you. I think about the fact that I rarely came to the hospital to visit you because of my work schedule. Those were moments I wont ever get back. I remember my last night seeing you. We all came to visit that saturday and spent the day in your hospital room making jokes. It was nice to see you smile. I promised I would come to see you Monday because Sunday I had to work. I would've never thought that would've been the last time I would get to see you smile or get to hold your hand or tell you that I love you.

I'm glad you aren't suffering anymore, but now I am. I miss you dearly and I'm so very sad I can't celebrate this day with you. I hope you are in heaven enjoying your birthday daddy. I love you so much and I hope you are looking down on me and smiling at the young lady you raised. Happy 58th birthday!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Happy Birthday to your father!!!

    My father died when he was 54, that's been 17 years ago now. I still miss him just as much now as when he first passed away.