Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The "Good Girl"

Today I had an interesting conversation with a male friend of mine, lets call him RC. He had his bbm status as "Every chick says their a "good girl" with the bbm sarcastic face. This led us to discussing this good girl notion.

I made the comment that I am a good girl and he automatically jumped to the question "Was every man that I had sex with my man?" So I replied that if the answer was yes, that wouldn't make me a good girl nor a bad girl. He then went on to state that when girls say they are a "good girl" they are trying to say that all the guys they have slept with have been their bf at a point in time. I disagree with this interpretation. I think this can be analyzed differently. I think when a female makes that statement, she can be saying that she sleeps with one man at a time. In other words, if she is sexually active with you, she will not engage in sexual activity with anyone else.

This led us into discussing why do females feel the need to let it be known that they are a "good girl" in the first place. I think females make this statement for different reasons. One reason could be that they are trying to believe this "lie" because deep down they know they are far from a good girl. Another reason could be because she just doesn't want the man to judge her. Many of us are freaky in the bedroom and may have a way with words, but this can cause certain men to label and judge us. For example, if 2 individuals are having sex for the 1st time and the girl goes down on him and does crazy positions or whatever, the man is going to love it but he may also be wondering who else she has done this for and so on. I, personally, will not go down on a man the first few times we engage in sexual activity because I don't do it to everyone and if I do want to do it to him, I don't want to be judged. There are just a lot of close minded and ignorant people out there that as females, we can't help but be cautious on things we do.

What are your thoughts? Do you associate the "good girl" name with how many partners a girl has had?


  1. To me, a good girl is a woman that's very good at sex period!... LOL... Just kidding .... I would agree with you and add a good girl is a woman who deserve to be called a woman and not a hoe. When she says she has a man,(be it bf, friend,what ever) it means she has one man, not some men. For some reason, some men think a good girl means she can't show or talk about sexuality, because let's face it, that was the old school rule. A good girl was a God fearing, church going girl. But that isn't today good girl. Things have changed the past few generations. Just like the statement, a good man is hard to find. Now they say a working man is hard to find. Ask your friend this question. When a woam say she is a good girl, why do men try so hard to make them a bad one?....

  2. I think it's best to stay away from labels like "good" or "bad"; besides, perception is reality. There are no perfect men or women, only perfect intentions.