Sunday, November 1, 2009

It Felt So Real

"Your father's coming home tomorrow so make sure that this house is clean. We don't need him coming home to a mess after being gone for about 2months." says mother

We all decided on what we would clean in the house to make everything spotless for daddy when he arrives. We did the laundry, cleaned both bathrooms, cleaned all 3 rooms, swept and vacuumed the hallway and stairs. We polished the wood and mopped the floors and cleaned all the dishes and made the bed and had everything ready for his arrival. We were all excited and couldn't wait to see that man walk through those doors, back into our happy home.

I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face and said I would wake up bright and early and shower and be sitting at the door when he walked in. But unfortunately, I overslept.

Next thing I know I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and I wiped my eyes and sat up in bed. My bedroom door slowly opened and in walked the most important man in the whole wide world!!!! I screamed, "DADDY!!!!!!" and jumped out of bed and ran to him and gave him the tightest hug.

"Shay let him go. You're hurting him. Let him get to his bed to rest" said mommy.

I let him go and walked him to my room with a big smile on my face. I was happy for the first time in months. My daddy was home and everything was going to be okay. The cancer was gone and all his problems were no more. I couldnt have asked for anything more.

I opened my eyes and realized where I was and looked towards the door waiting for it to open. But it never did. I then realized I wasn't living in my big house anymore and my dad wasn't going to walk in through that door. I was all alone and the happiness I felt in that dream wasn't going to happen. I cried. I cried the same way I cried on September 13 when I got the text message saying that daddy was gone. I cried my eyes out and felt the pain all over again. I just wanted him to come back in my life but I knew it wasn't going to happen. I cried until I went back to sleep...went back to darkness.

Will this pain ever go away??
Will I ever be happy again??


  1. I hate dreams like that but at the same time they let you know that you will never forget those that you loose.

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