Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Heart n Mind

I'm in a dilemma....I don't know if I want to be with Stuy or not :(

Let me start from the beginning...

On Sunday we met up after work to go to the movies and everything was good. We was having light convo and enjoyed the movie. After the movie, we were walking to the train station and he came to the topic of what he wants in a female. He's like how he wants a girl who will be there for him, someone who will bail him outta jail if need be. Now this whole time we were joking around so when he said that I'm like ok well goodluck with that cause I don't have no bail money and we started laughing. Then I said well if I had it I probably would bail you out, I'd be there for you. Then it turned serious and he's like he wants this n that and I was just like ok. Well that wasn't the answer he was looking for and he got real upset with me and stopped talking to me. The whole train ride was silent. We reach his stop and he didn't get off so that he can take me to mine. We get off the train at my stop and he doesn't even walk me all the way up to where my 2nd train was coming. So I stand there with him, mind you he says nothing to me the whole time. About 5-10min later, he just walks away and goes back down the stairs to his train. He said absolutely nothing to, just walked away. So I went up to my train.

That night he doesn't hit me up to see if I got home safe or nothing. WE didn't speak for the next 2 days n then last night I tell him that since he walked away from me and I haven't heard from him since it means we're over so enjoy your birthday on monday and have a blessed life. Of course that leads us into talking about our problem and now the question is do we work this out or let it go.

I honestly don't know what I want to do. I feel like my mind is telling me to do one thing and my heart is telling me to do another. The way I look at it is the heart thinks emotionally which can cause problems, whereas the mind thinks logically which can be both good and bad. My heart tells me to work it out with him because I do care for him and I would miss him a whole lot if we stopped talking, but my mind says let it go because there are just too many problems and I don't think I see "us" in the long run. I just don't know what to do...

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