Monday, September 14, 2009

He's Really Gone!!! R.I.P. Daddy

I really can't believe he's gone....

So yesterday started off normal for me, but it ended in the worst way possible. I was at work just doing my normal routines and then my sister calls me but since I was on the floor I couldn't pick up the phone so I texted her and asked her what happen. I was about to get off in like 10-15min so when she texted me, I didn't look at my phone right away. I go and clock out of work and then I look at my phone and the message read "Dad pass away in the hospital". When I say my heart literally stopped, I mean it. I was shocked so I called her to see if I read it correctly and my brother picked up. So I'm like what did Jess just texted me and he's like just come home...come home now. And that's how I knew it was the truth. I automatically called Ash to tell her and thats when the tears started flowing. I was like "Ash my father died today" and she was like where are you and I let her know I was leaving my job headed home and she said she would meet me there.

On the trainI was listening to my RnB playlist and I just had my hands over my eyes to keep the tears from falling. When I finally got service people were asking me if everything was ok on twitter and right when krys hit me up the worst song came on...."Dance with my father" by Beyonce. The tears just began streaming down my face and I knew everyone was looking at me on the train but I just knew I needed to get home.

When I got in front of my house I saw that there were a bunch of people at my house and the tears began again but I got it together to walk into the house. I was only able to say hi to one of the guests and my oldest sis and I broke down and started crying and ran up the stairs to my mom's room. My mom and sis came up to console me but I just had to get out the house. I was getting texts and bbms and phone calls from people and I just couldn't believe this was happening.

Ash came to the house andwas just holding me and I was just crying on her shoulders. We all knew this day would come but not this soon. Steph came later and we talked and everything. I was really happy that so much people reached out to me but in the end the pain is crazy. I had a real special relationship with my dad and it makes me miss him more and more each day.

Now we have to plan the funeral and go through this family drama and I dont know how I will make it. I just wish things would go back to normal when my parents were together and everyone was happy.

I love you daddy and I will miss you. You will always be in my heart and I knowyou are in a better place now watching over me. May you rest in peace!!!!


  1. I'm so sorry girl. RIP to your daddy, I know he's in a better place...idk how religious you are, but if you are, look to God, He can be the best consolation...

  2. I do not know you at all but I do know the death of a parent can be very tough on someone. I wish you the best through this period of grief and sorrow. Joy will come out of it. You will remember all your moment(s) and relive them in your mind. I've been doing this for four years now. That's my fuel, to make the deceased proud of me. I imagine having conversations with her and letting her know how I am doing. Best luck

  3. I'm so sorry, but I can sort of relate to this.
    My grandmother passed away 3 years ago & she was like my best friend.
    Its hard losing someone that you are so close to, and you may never get over it, but you gotta live your life.
    Your dad probably would have wanted you to succeed in life and do big things so you gotta make him proud so when he looks down from Heaven he can go, "thats my baby girl"