It's been so long since I have actually come onto my blog I don't know where to start. I miss writing and sharing what has been going on in my life, but I have been so busy that I haven't found the time.
Luckily, I have some time right now!
First thing first, I finally got a steady job!!! Now anyone who has been keeping up with my blogs knows that I have been doing temp jobs since I graduated from college and I've been very depressed because of the fact. I finally got my break when I was sent on a wk assignment doing payroll and accounting and the managers loved my work and decided to keep me permanently. It has been 7 months now and I can honestly say I like my job. Now this isn't where I want to stay in the long haul but it is a great experience and I am doing something that is in the field that I received my degree so I am truly greatful.
Now the downfall of life right now happened a few wks ago when celebrating my 25th bday. I was so excited for this event I went all out and got a vip section at a club and did bottle service with my friends and paid for our traveling to the club so we could all get drunk. Well that's exactly what we did, DRINK! Of course I had the most to drink (thanks to my friends pouring bottles down my mouth n such) and the night didn't end too well. As we were leaving the club and crossing the street, my drunk ass tripped over a pot hole and fell....on my face! SMFH My friends rushed me to the ER and I had chipped one tooth and broken another in half, bit my tongue so hard, scraped my knee and busted my chin. That definitely ruined my bday wknd. This has led to numerous trips to the ER and dentist trying to get myself fixed. I am still in the process and hopefully I can be good as new again.
I'll tell you this much, I will never drink so much again. I'm giving myself a 3-4 drink minimum and I am staying away from shots lol
I will try to blog some more on my thoughts and what's going on in my life, but I can't promise anything.
*Shay* signing out!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Monday, March 14, 2011
How Does One Know They Are "In Love"?
For some reason this question is always on my mind because I really want to know how you feel when you are truly in love with someone?
I have been in a real relationship with one man and I say I loved him and all that, but I honestly don't know if I was ever "in love" with him. I had feelings for him and I cared for him very deeply but I don't understand how you know when you are in love. Some people say you just feel it, but how does it feel? Do you wish to be around the person all the time? Is the person on your mind 24/7? I always think about my future and when I do meet a man and get serious with him how will I know if its more than like.
Besides my ex boyfriend, I told one other guy I loved him because I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure. A friend recently told her boyfriend she loved him and I was so happy for her, but again I wondered how she knew. I wish there was a simple answer to this question but I don't think there is. Most people will say that you just know when it happens. I just hope if and when it does happen for me, I am able to recognize it and not mistaken it for just caring for the person.
I have been in a real relationship with one man and I say I loved him and all that, but I honestly don't know if I was ever "in love" with him. I had feelings for him and I cared for him very deeply but I don't understand how you know when you are in love. Some people say you just feel it, but how does it feel? Do you wish to be around the person all the time? Is the person on your mind 24/7? I always think about my future and when I do meet a man and get serious with him how will I know if its more than like.
Besides my ex boyfriend, I told one other guy I loved him because I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure. A friend recently told her boyfriend she loved him and I was so happy for her, but again I wondered how she knew. I wish there was a simple answer to this question but I don't think there is. Most people will say that you just know when it happens. I just hope if and when it does happen for me, I am able to recognize it and not mistaken it for just caring for the person.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Quick Getaway
Today I am heading out to Miami with my Besty Ash, my sis, n my homegirl for a wknd getaway. It's crazy because when my friend first asked me to go I kept saying no but I'm glad she talked me into it. I need a little relaxation in my life and some good ol nice sun and drinks. I will be back Sunday so I'll be sure to fill y'all in on how that goes. Peace out everyone!!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Smiling with Sadness
This morning on my way to the train station, my best friend's mother told me that I always look so sad and its understandable but not to worry because everything will fall into place in my life. I just smiled and said thank you and went to catch my train.
On my train ride into work, I started to think about my life and of course I teared. I mean NEVER did I think my life would be the way it is right now. I won't complain too much because there are a lot of people out there who are going through much WORSE than me, but I still can't help but feel sad. I think about losing my father way before I expected, not being in school working on my masters, not having a real steady job in finance or accounting, not being able to live at home, etc etc. They say that God doesn't put you through things if he knows that you can't overcome them, but I wonder when will I be able to overcome these boulders in my road to success and happiness.
I try to keep a smile on my face, despite how I feel on the inside because I am tired of complaining. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me and I am especially tired of feeling sorry for myself. My best friend says its totally understandable for me to be sad because I have been through a lot and even though that may be true, I hate being sad. I was always the happy one growing up and even if I came across problems in my life, I would always find a solution on my own or with the help of my dad. Now that he's gone I sometimes feel all alone. My mom is still here but everytime I speak to her I hear and feel the sadness in her voice that she can't do more for us and herself.
I have very big dreams and goals that I would like to accomplish and I just hope that things will get better very soon for me so that when I am smiling, there is nothing but happiness behind it.
On my train ride into work, I started to think about my life and of course I teared. I mean NEVER did I think my life would be the way it is right now. I won't complain too much because there are a lot of people out there who are going through much WORSE than me, but I still can't help but feel sad. I think about losing my father way before I expected, not being in school working on my masters, not having a real steady job in finance or accounting, not being able to live at home, etc etc. They say that God doesn't put you through things if he knows that you can't overcome them, but I wonder when will I be able to overcome these boulders in my road to success and happiness.
I try to keep a smile on my face, despite how I feel on the inside because I am tired of complaining. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me and I am especially tired of feeling sorry for myself. My best friend says its totally understandable for me to be sad because I have been through a lot and even though that may be true, I hate being sad. I was always the happy one growing up and even if I came across problems in my life, I would always find a solution on my own or with the help of my dad. Now that he's gone I sometimes feel all alone. My mom is still here but everytime I speak to her I hear and feel the sadness in her voice that she can't do more for us and herself.
I have very big dreams and goals that I would like to accomplish and I just hope that things will get better very soon for me so that when I am smiling, there is nothing but happiness behind it.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Trifling Family
My weekend started off really bad. I got into a big altercation with my oldest sister for taking my money after I told her not to and this stupid girl had the nerve to call the cops on me. So for the first time in my life I was arrested and taken to jail. I don't think I can explain all the emotions that were going through my body and mind throughout this whole ordeal. I felt rage, anger, sadness, and betrayed. Despite me cursing her out or breaking things, it shouldn't have gotten to the point where she had to call the cops. I more so feel this way because she said she felt like her life was threatened but she didn't call them until about 10-15min after this whole fiasco happened.
My experience at the precinct and at bookings wasn't so horrible, but it was still bad. The cell at the precinct was so cold and the toilet looked so nasty and smelled bad. I was there for about 5hrs before I was finally taken to bookings. At bookings, I shared a cell with about 20 other women that were in there for various reasons and although I spoke to a few, it was not where I wanted to be. The fact that I had to pee in the open space or sleep on a mat on the floor was very disgusting to me. The only good thing was there was heat so I wasn't as cold as before. I wasn't able to see a judge until around 6pm and since this was my first encounter with the law and the whole scenario was so ridiculous I was let go. BUT, there is an order of protection which means I can't stay at my house if that girl that I once referred to as my sister is there. I'm just so over her and I will no longer consider her family. In my eyes, she died the night I got arrested. I may be overreacting but that's just how I feel. After this encounter with jail, I know for a fact that I don't ever want to go through this again (even though I knew this before).
My experience at the precinct and at bookings wasn't so horrible, but it was still bad. The cell at the precinct was so cold and the toilet looked so nasty and smelled bad. I was there for about 5hrs before I was finally taken to bookings. At bookings, I shared a cell with about 20 other women that were in there for various reasons and although I spoke to a few, it was not where I wanted to be. The fact that I had to pee in the open space or sleep on a mat on the floor was very disgusting to me. The only good thing was there was heat so I wasn't as cold as before. I wasn't able to see a judge until around 6pm and since this was my first encounter with the law and the whole scenario was so ridiculous I was let go. BUT, there is an order of protection which means I can't stay at my house if that girl that I once referred to as my sister is there. I'm just so over her and I will no longer consider her family. In my eyes, she died the night I got arrested. I may be overreacting but that's just how I feel. After this encounter with jail, I know for a fact that I don't ever want to go through this again (even though I knew this before).
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I'm Getting Old
Tomorrow I will be celebrating my 24th birthday!!! I'm very excited. A lot of people may not take their birthday's very serious, but I do. I get very excited when my birthday is approaching and I make plans to celebrate with friends and family, shop for a whole new outfit (outfits) and think about what I may want as gifts lol.
Last year around this time there was nothing but sadness in my household for 2 reasons. One reason was because that was the first year I was celebrating my birthday without my father being around. The second reason was the earthquake that took place in Haiti. It was bad enough that I was still mourning my father's death, but when I heard about the earthquake I got really sad again. I found out about 5min before the clock turned 12am to Jan 14, that my 5yr old cousin died in Haiti from the earthquake. This news was very devastating to me because this little girl was living with me for a few years and was recently sent back to Haiti to live with her mother because there wasn't anyone around to watch her. Her father, my uncle, was distraught because he felt if he had only kept her here in NY with him, she would still be alive today. So this week I mourn my cousins death as well as celebrate my life.
It seems like something sad always occurs around my birthday. Tomorrow night, my friends and I will be partying to celebrate, but on Saturday morning we will be going to a funeral to mourn the death of my friend's grandmother. I will be happy for seeing another full year in this world, but I will remember those around me that have made their way home to heaven.
So HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Jan 14 I will officially be 24yrs old.
Last year around this time there was nothing but sadness in my household for 2 reasons. One reason was because that was the first year I was celebrating my birthday without my father being around. The second reason was the earthquake that took place in Haiti. It was bad enough that I was still mourning my father's death, but when I heard about the earthquake I got really sad again. I found out about 5min before the clock turned 12am to Jan 14, that my 5yr old cousin died in Haiti from the earthquake. This news was very devastating to me because this little girl was living with me for a few years and was recently sent back to Haiti to live with her mother because there wasn't anyone around to watch her. Her father, my uncle, was distraught because he felt if he had only kept her here in NY with him, she would still be alive today. So this week I mourn my cousins death as well as celebrate my life.
It seems like something sad always occurs around my birthday. Tomorrow night, my friends and I will be partying to celebrate, but on Saturday morning we will be going to a funeral to mourn the death of my friend's grandmother. I will be happy for seeing another full year in this world, but I will remember those around me that have made their way home to heaven.
So HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Jan 14 I will officially be 24yrs old.
New Zodiac Sign
So apparently the earth's alignment has shifted causing a new zodiac sign to come about and everyone's sign to change. This new sign discovered is called "Ophiuchus". Apparently, the gradual tilt of the Earth has caused pre-existing zodiac dates to be inaccurate. This new sign is represented by a serpent tamer and it applies to those born between November 29 and December 17.
With this new discovery, everyone is wondering if they have a new zodiac sign now and if so, what is it. Well here is the list of the new zodiac signs with the dates :
Capricorn Jan 20 - Feb 16
Aquarius Feb 16 - March 11
Pisces March 11 - April 18
Aries April 18 - May 13
Taurus May 13 - June 21
Gemini June 21 - July 20
Cancer July 20 - Aug 10
Leo Aug 10 - Sept 16
Virgo Sept 16 - Oct 30
Libra Oct 30 - Nov 23
Scorpio Nov 23 - Nov 29
Ophiuchus Nov 29 - Dec 17
Sagittarius Dec 17 - Jan 20
However, there is a twist to this whole new discovery. These changes only apply to people born after the year 2009. So everyone that was born before this year will remain the sign that they knew and loved. Weird right?? What are your thoughts about this?
With this new discovery, everyone is wondering if they have a new zodiac sign now and if so, what is it. Well here is the list of the new zodiac signs with the dates :
Capricorn Jan 20 - Feb 16
Aquarius Feb 16 - March 11
Pisces March 11 - April 18
Aries April 18 - May 13
Taurus May 13 - June 21
Gemini June 21 - July 20
Cancer July 20 - Aug 10
Leo Aug 10 - Sept 16
Virgo Sept 16 - Oct 30
Libra Oct 30 - Nov 23
Scorpio Nov 23 - Nov 29
Ophiuchus Nov 29 - Dec 17
Sagittarius Dec 17 - Jan 20
However, there is a twist to this whole new discovery. These changes only apply to people born after the year 2009. So everyone that was born before this year will remain the sign that they knew and loved. Weird right?? What are your thoughts about this?
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