I can't stand my father's sisters....they irk me sooooo much. As we all know my dad is in the hospital and the other day my mother went to visit him...even though he told her not to. I guess he told his sister and she decided to make my father a private patient, without telling us. By doing this, only 8 people can be put on the list to visit my dad. Here's the ridiculous part...this heffa had the nerve to put my name as well as my brother's name but leaves out my other2 sisters. UUUMMM EXCUZe me woman, are you serious right now??? So I go visit my dad n he asks for my sister but I didn't want to tell him what was going on. Then my brother n sister call me and say they're on their way. My bro gets there first then my sis calls and tells us to come downstairs cause they weren't letting her up.
So we go downstairs and the security guy tells us where to go to speak to the administration of the hospital. So of course my sis is beyond upset and we're trying to explain the situation to the people and they tell us that she would have to go speak to our father because only he can reverse this whole thing. So we head upstairs and my father's sis is still there and the lady says she has to leave, and my bro told her he was upset that her sis had the nerve to not put all my dad's kids on the list. So in the end we get my dad to reverse the whole thing and put himself back as a public patient.
Then my bro goes to the "aunt" n tells her she can come back in and she's like no she won't come in there as long as we are in there. UUM seriously??? WEll if thats the case, enjoy the hallway. Of course my dad is upset about this but I was like all this is your fault. You are the person with the most power and you choose not to use it. Now the family is broken and cannot be fixed because we don't like your sisters.
So now sh** is definitely bad but I knew this was going to happen. It is what it is and if they feel they can't be around us, then so be it. We never have to speak again for all I care. I HATE FAKE PEOPLE!!!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
The Heart n Mind
I'm in a dilemma....I don't know if I want to be with Stuy or not :(
Let me start from the beginning...
On Sunday we met up after work to go to the movies and everything was good. We was having light convo and enjoyed the movie. After the movie, we were walking to the train station and he came to the topic of what he wants in a female. He's like how he wants a girl who will be there for him, someone who will bail him outta jail if need be. Now this whole time we were joking around so when he said that I'm like ok well goodluck with that cause I don't have no bail money and we started laughing. Then I said well if I had it I probably would bail you out, I'd be there for you. Then it turned serious and he's like he wants this n that and I was just like ok. Well that wasn't the answer he was looking for and he got real upset with me and stopped talking to me. The whole train ride was silent. We reach his stop and he didn't get off so that he can take me to mine. We get off the train at my stop and he doesn't even walk me all the way up to where my 2nd train was coming. So I stand there with him, mind you he says nothing to me the whole time. About 5-10min later, he just walks away and goes back down the stairs to his train. He said absolutely nothing to, just walked away. So I went up to my train.
That night he doesn't hit me up to see if I got home safe or nothing. WE didn't speak for the next 2 days n then last night I tell him that since he walked away from me and I haven't heard from him since it means we're over so enjoy your birthday on monday and have a blessed life. Of course that leads us into talking about our problem and now the question is do we work this out or let it go.
I honestly don't know what I want to do. I feel like my mind is telling me to do one thing and my heart is telling me to do another. The way I look at it is the heart thinks emotionally which can cause problems, whereas the mind thinks logically which can be both good and bad. My heart tells me to work it out with him because I do care for him and I would miss him a whole lot if we stopped talking, but my mind says let it go because there are just too many problems and I don't think I see "us" in the long run. I just don't know what to do...
Let me start from the beginning...
On Sunday we met up after work to go to the movies and everything was good. We was having light convo and enjoyed the movie. After the movie, we were walking to the train station and he came to the topic of what he wants in a female. He's like how he wants a girl who will be there for him, someone who will bail him outta jail if need be. Now this whole time we were joking around so when he said that I'm like ok well goodluck with that cause I don't have no bail money and we started laughing. Then I said well if I had it I probably would bail you out, I'd be there for you. Then it turned serious and he's like he wants this n that and I was just like ok. Well that wasn't the answer he was looking for and he got real upset with me and stopped talking to me. The whole train ride was silent. We reach his stop and he didn't get off so that he can take me to mine. We get off the train at my stop and he doesn't even walk me all the way up to where my 2nd train was coming. So I stand there with him, mind you he says nothing to me the whole time. About 5-10min later, he just walks away and goes back down the stairs to his train. He said absolutely nothing to, just walked away. So I went up to my train.
That night he doesn't hit me up to see if I got home safe or nothing. WE didn't speak for the next 2 days n then last night I tell him that since he walked away from me and I haven't heard from him since it means we're over so enjoy your birthday on monday and have a blessed life. Of course that leads us into talking about our problem and now the question is do we work this out or let it go.
I honestly don't know what I want to do. I feel like my mind is telling me to do one thing and my heart is telling me to do another. The way I look at it is the heart thinks emotionally which can cause problems, whereas the mind thinks logically which can be both good and bad. My heart tells me to work it out with him because I do care for him and I would miss him a whole lot if we stopped talking, but my mind says let it go because there are just too many problems and I don't think I see "us" in the long run. I just don't know what to do...
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Can it get any worse??
The other day my mom called me crying saying how my dad fell and now he's dying. Not quite the call I wanted..but I didn't quite understand. So I call my brother and he tells me that the nurse or doctor left the side bars down on the bed and my dad fell off and now has internal bleeding. WHAT??? He said he didn't know the full story but he's about to head to the hospital. Unfortunately I couldn't go because I had to go to work but my sister was going also. She left work early. So my mom calls me back and asks if I'm going to the hospital and I say no I have work and she starts cursing me out. Long story short I hung up cuz she was getting me tight. But I wasn't too mad at her because I knew the reason she was so mad was because she couldn't go see my dad for herself and it was hurting her.
So that night I get home but my sis was already asleep so I didn't know what the doctor said. The next morning as soon as we wake up my sister is like take a seat cuz I have something to tell you. Now my heart is pounding like hell because I knew it was about daddy dearest. Then she goes on to tell me the news.
"Dad has a bloodclot in his lungs and his abdomen is bleeding. He had a stroke on the left side of his brain and he's lucky to not be paralyzed on the left side of his body. He also has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, which has already spread thoughout his whole body. They said they are going to go through with surgery to stop the bleeding in his abdomen because if it leaks to his head he will become a vegetable. As for the cancer, there is nothing they can do because it is too late. He has less than 6 months to live and he will be lucky if he makes it to thanksgiving. Therefore, they will release him in a couple of weeks so that he can spend his time in the comfort of his home and with family."
My heart must've dropped 5 notches with every blow and tears were just streaming down my face. How could this have happened? What do they mean they can't do anything for him? IT just wasn't making any sense to me. All I kept thinking was I can't lose my daddy, he has to be around for a lot more years. He has to be there to walk me down the aisle, to see my children.
Yesterday he told my sister he feels like giving up. He's just so tired. I went to see him and he was talking to me like normal but I don't expect him to tell me anything like that because I'm a softy and in the end I'm the closest to him. I know I don't want to see him suffer but I can't bare to lose him either. I just need God to hear me out on this and help my dad through this.
So that night I get home but my sis was already asleep so I didn't know what the doctor said. The next morning as soon as we wake up my sister is like take a seat cuz I have something to tell you. Now my heart is pounding like hell because I knew it was about daddy dearest. Then she goes on to tell me the news.
"Dad has a bloodclot in his lungs and his abdomen is bleeding. He had a stroke on the left side of his brain and he's lucky to not be paralyzed on the left side of his body. He also has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, which has already spread thoughout his whole body. They said they are going to go through with surgery to stop the bleeding in his abdomen because if it leaks to his head he will become a vegetable. As for the cancer, there is nothing they can do because it is too late. He has less than 6 months to live and he will be lucky if he makes it to thanksgiving. Therefore, they will release him in a couple of weeks so that he can spend his time in the comfort of his home and with family."
My heart must've dropped 5 notches with every blow and tears were just streaming down my face. How could this have happened? What do they mean they can't do anything for him? IT just wasn't making any sense to me. All I kept thinking was I can't lose my daddy, he has to be around for a lot more years. He has to be there to walk me down the aisle, to see my children.
Yesterday he told my sister he feels like giving up. He's just so tired. I went to see him and he was talking to me like normal but I don't expect him to tell me anything like that because I'm a softy and in the end I'm the closest to him. I know I don't want to see him suffer but I can't bare to lose him either. I just need God to hear me out on this and help my dad through this.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Refreshed
Sorry for the delay in tweets but I was on vacation. Your girl went to Dominican Republic for a week with the girls and had a blast. Other than the fact that I am crispy as hell from being in the sun every single day for a week, I feel great. lol
We went to Punta Cana and stayed at this resort and my o my was it great. There were like 3 or 4 pool sites and a beach in the back. Along with every pool site was a bar in the pool which was amazing lol. Did I mention that drinks were free!!!!!!!!! lol Anyway I did some activities on this trip that I probably would've never done. First, I went horseback riding (and I hate animals lol). I was screaming the whole time the guy was helping me onto the horse and when it started moving I was freaking out lol. I started getting the hang of it but the thing I hated was when it would go too close to another horse and my leg would brush up on its behind or face. I mean it was shiting out of that behind and it was drooling out of its mouth yuck!!!! But I was a soldier and put up with it for a whole hour.
Next we went on a speed boat and on a yacht for a day trip. That wasn't too bad because I been on a speed boat before. We took the yacht to this other island which was ok minus all the damn little rocks in the ocean. After, we got back on the speed boat and went to the middle of some ocean and swam with a couple of starfishes (I'm a punk so I didn't touch them lol). Then we took the speed boat back to where the bus was waiting and went back home. The funniest part about this whole day trip was when my homegirl got drunk and couldn't function. She was taking crazy shots on the yacht and it caught up with her and she was finished.
Next day we went riding on dirt bikes and OMG I had a blast. My homegirl kept screaming at me to slow down but I didn't want to. I bumped into the bike ahead of me and just started laughing and then kept it moving. We rode the bikes to this cave and people were like diving in to swim inside. The water was 20ft deep and my ass doesn't know how to swim so I stayed on the rocks taking pictures lol. Then we rode the bikes to this other beach and went for a swim. While in the water i started raining and at first we was all running out of the water but then we thought bout it and was like that's pointless and went right back in. After we rode the bikes back so that we could go back to the hotel. I forgot to mention that my homegirls ran their bike into a tree which was hilarious. She was like eat my dust and they dre off.....right into the tree hahahah lol. When the man helped them out they started driving again and later drove off the road into the bushes lol. Talk about bad luck.
We ended our vacation getting full body massages and relaxing on the beach and pool. I had a great week...I wish we could've stayed longer though. But I'm back and black as ever lol
We went to Punta Cana and stayed at this resort and my o my was it great. There were like 3 or 4 pool sites and a beach in the back. Along with every pool site was a bar in the pool which was amazing lol. Did I mention that drinks were free!!!!!!!!! lol Anyway I did some activities on this trip that I probably would've never done. First, I went horseback riding (and I hate animals lol). I was screaming the whole time the guy was helping me onto the horse and when it started moving I was freaking out lol. I started getting the hang of it but the thing I hated was when it would go too close to another horse and my leg would brush up on its behind or face. I mean it was shiting out of that behind and it was drooling out of its mouth yuck!!!! But I was a soldier and put up with it for a whole hour.
Next we went on a speed boat and on a yacht for a day trip. That wasn't too bad because I been on a speed boat before. We took the yacht to this other island which was ok minus all the damn little rocks in the ocean. After, we got back on the speed boat and went to the middle of some ocean and swam with a couple of starfishes (I'm a punk so I didn't touch them lol). Then we took the speed boat back to where the bus was waiting and went back home. The funniest part about this whole day trip was when my homegirl got drunk and couldn't function. She was taking crazy shots on the yacht and it caught up with her and she was finished.
Next day we went riding on dirt bikes and OMG I had a blast. My homegirl kept screaming at me to slow down but I didn't want to. I bumped into the bike ahead of me and just started laughing and then kept it moving. We rode the bikes to this cave and people were like diving in to swim inside. The water was 20ft deep and my ass doesn't know how to swim so I stayed on the rocks taking pictures lol. Then we rode the bikes to this other beach and went for a swim. While in the water i started raining and at first we was all running out of the water but then we thought bout it and was like that's pointless and went right back in. After we rode the bikes back so that we could go back to the hotel. I forgot to mention that my homegirls ran their bike into a tree which was hilarious. She was like eat my dust and they dre off.....right into the tree hahahah lol. When the man helped them out they started driving again and later drove off the road into the bushes lol. Talk about bad luck.
We ended our vacation getting full body massages and relaxing on the beach and pool. I had a great week...I wish we could've stayed longer though. But I'm back and black as ever lol
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Talk About Being Ungrateful
As we know my father is in the hospital and we have all been going to visit him...including my mom. Now daddy had no problem with this. He was actually happy to have my mother around again and he said that to us. This all changed this week.
My sis goes to the hospital to see him and my brother, aunt and cousin are there. So after about 10minutes my dad says to my sis he has something to tell her. She said she didn't want to hear it, she wasn't in the right mind frame for anything. So my aunt is like well maybe I should leave the room and my dad is like no you can stay.
So then he proceeds to say, "Tell your mom not to come visit me at the hospital anymore. I don't want to see her again, that's why I moved out". Wait just a darn minute, are you serious right now. So my sis asks why and he's like because she's the reason his blood pressure is rising. So she's like wait your not serious right now. Mom has been coming to visit you everyday and been taking care of you since you were admitted to the hospital and you were the one that said thank god she was there for you. Now out of nowhere she's making your blood pressure rise, all lies.
They argue for a bit and then my sis says something to my aunt and then storms out of the room. SOme might say that my sis was wrong because he's sick but I would've done the same thing....probably worse. I just don't understand it. It's like he was trying to be nice and humble to everyone because he was in bad shape, pretty much in his death bed. Now that he's getting better, he wants to kick everyone who was there for him to he curb for his sister. I'm so over that side of my family!!!
I forgot to mention that my cousin came to see my dad the other day and we was all there but it was my mom and her 2 sisters in the room with my dad. This dumb rude ass b**ch walks into the room and doesn't say hi to anyone but my dad. Acted like the other grown ups weren't in the room. When my mother told me this I was heated....that shit was mad freaking rude. I don't care how many times your mother said not to say anything to my mom. Like I was soo mad because I would never do that to my mother because in the end we are allstill family. Well now its like FUCK FAMILY!!! Well my dad's side anyway.
My sis goes to the hospital to see him and my brother, aunt and cousin are there. So after about 10minutes my dad says to my sis he has something to tell her. She said she didn't want to hear it, she wasn't in the right mind frame for anything. So my aunt is like well maybe I should leave the room and my dad is like no you can stay.
So then he proceeds to say, "Tell your mom not to come visit me at the hospital anymore. I don't want to see her again, that's why I moved out". Wait just a darn minute, are you serious right now. So my sis asks why and he's like because she's the reason his blood pressure is rising. So she's like wait your not serious right now. Mom has been coming to visit you everyday and been taking care of you since you were admitted to the hospital and you were the one that said thank god she was there for you. Now out of nowhere she's making your blood pressure rise, all lies.
They argue for a bit and then my sis says something to my aunt and then storms out of the room. SOme might say that my sis was wrong because he's sick but I would've done the same thing....probably worse. I just don't understand it. It's like he was trying to be nice and humble to everyone because he was in bad shape, pretty much in his death bed. Now that he's getting better, he wants to kick everyone who was there for him to he curb for his sister. I'm so over that side of my family!!!
I forgot to mention that my cousin came to see my dad the other day and we was all there but it was my mom and her 2 sisters in the room with my dad. This dumb rude ass b**ch walks into the room and doesn't say hi to anyone but my dad. Acted like the other grown ups weren't in the room. When my mother told me this I was heated....that shit was mad freaking rude. I don't care how many times your mother said not to say anything to my mom. Like I was soo mad because I would never do that to my mother because in the end we are allstill family. Well now its like FUCK FAMILY!!! Well my dad's side anyway.
He Did WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!
Life has been so crazy for my family lately. Now we know my dad has been sick...he's getting better but he's back at the hospital after being released for like one day.
But the major drama is with the sorry ass man that is the father of my sister's baby. He was suppose to come pick up Nas Sunday so my sis rushed home to get his stuff ready for the bastard. So the guy gets here and he's all up on my sis like you talk all that shit over the phone but you aint saying nothing now. So she's like aint no one worried about you and he came up behind her so she pushed him away like don't touch me and he punched her. Yes blog world...HE PUNCHED HER!!!! So she hit him bck and they started fighting from there. He picked her up and slammed her on the floor and she kneed him in the balls. While they were fighting the baby is on the bed crying and I guess they hit the bed and the baby fell off and was crying hysterically. But did that stop him from beating on my sis.....NOOOOO OF COURSE NOT. He starts to choke her now and she knees him again and then he slams her against the door. By this time my mother is outside and heard the loud bang on the door and she came inside and found this MOTHERF**KER on top of my sis on the bed choking her. I gues its true when they say mothers have a strenght inside of them because my mother grabbed him and slammed him against the wall and held him there. My sis caught her breath and started punching him in the face and my mother is just screaming stop it. Then she says why are you doing this and he starts screaming how much he hates my sis and wants her dead so my mom is like if you hate her so much why are you here. Just leave!!! By this time the neighbor called the cops and the father left.
So of course I'm at work throughout all this fiasco and all my family members are here and everyone is calling me to tell me the dra. My brother comes with a hammer and my other brother comes with a belt lmfao. (I'm like what the hell was he going to do......spank the guy lol)
Then my sis calls his house and said to the father your fucking son hit me....he's dead!! So the jerks father is like omg and calls his wife to the phone and she said the same thing to her and the lady is like how she's coming over. When she gets here my oldest sister is like your fucking son put his hands on my sister....he messed with the wrong family. Then her and the mother gets into an argument. Whatever happens and then the lady tries to come in and my aun was like no you have to go and kicked her out. (That part was funny as hell to me.....GO AUNTY!!!)
All in all my sis has to do a order of protection and get a restraining order an do all these things for her safety. My whole thing is I just don't understand why he hates he so much. Is it because she moved on and has a new man in her life?? I know stuff like this happens all the time but I will never understand how you can go from loving someone so much to having pure hatred for them.
I keep thinking what would I have done if it was me who walked in instead of my mother. What would I have done to him? But I honestly think I would have found a weapon or knife or something and done bodily harm. NOONE MESSES WITH MY SiS!!!
As of right now the dumb mother fucker is in jail thank god.....but my brothers are ready to kill him. AAWW man the drama in the life of my family just doesn't end.
But the major drama is with the sorry ass man that is the father of my sister's baby. He was suppose to come pick up Nas Sunday so my sis rushed home to get his stuff ready for the bastard. So the guy gets here and he's all up on my sis like you talk all that shit over the phone but you aint saying nothing now. So she's like aint no one worried about you and he came up behind her so she pushed him away like don't touch me and he punched her. Yes blog world...HE PUNCHED HER!!!! So she hit him bck and they started fighting from there. He picked her up and slammed her on the floor and she kneed him in the balls. While they were fighting the baby is on the bed crying and I guess they hit the bed and the baby fell off and was crying hysterically. But did that stop him from beating on my sis.....NOOOOO OF COURSE NOT. He starts to choke her now and she knees him again and then he slams her against the door. By this time my mother is outside and heard the loud bang on the door and she came inside and found this MOTHERF**KER on top of my sis on the bed choking her. I gues its true when they say mothers have a strenght inside of them because my mother grabbed him and slammed him against the wall and held him there. My sis caught her breath and started punching him in the face and my mother is just screaming stop it. Then she says why are you doing this and he starts screaming how much he hates my sis and wants her dead so my mom is like if you hate her so much why are you here. Just leave!!! By this time the neighbor called the cops and the father left.
So of course I'm at work throughout all this fiasco and all my family members are here and everyone is calling me to tell me the dra. My brother comes with a hammer and my other brother comes with a belt lmfao. (I'm like what the hell was he going to do......spank the guy lol)
Then my sis calls his house and said to the father your fucking son hit me....he's dead!! So the jerks father is like omg and calls his wife to the phone and she said the same thing to her and the lady is like how she's coming over. When she gets here my oldest sister is like your fucking son put his hands on my sister....he messed with the wrong family. Then her and the mother gets into an argument. Whatever happens and then the lady tries to come in and my aun was like no you have to go and kicked her out. (That part was funny as hell to me.....GO AUNTY!!!)
All in all my sis has to do a order of protection and get a restraining order an do all these things for her safety. My whole thing is I just don't understand why he hates he so much. Is it because she moved on and has a new man in her life?? I know stuff like this happens all the time but I will never understand how you can go from loving someone so much to having pure hatred for them.
I keep thinking what would I have done if it was me who walked in instead of my mother. What would I have done to him? But I honestly think I would have found a weapon or knife or something and done bodily harm. NOONE MESSES WITH MY SiS!!!
As of right now the dumb mother fucker is in jail thank god.....but my brothers are ready to kill him. AAWW man the drama in the life of my family just doesn't end.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Hospital Visit
I went to visit daddy today. I never looked at that man and felt so crushed before in my life.
First off we get to the hospital and my mom waits in the hall because she hasn't spoken to my dad since they seperated. I walk into the room and my brother is already in there and he's talking to the doctor about the procedure my dad just went through for his dialysis. After he leaves my dad asks where my mom is and I'm like she's in the hallway...she doesn't know if she should come in or not. So he goes tell her to come...go get her. Now I was shocked because my dad has always made it his duty to avoid seeing or being around my mom. So I bring her into the room and he says hi and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then we all start talking and he tells us about what they did to him and all that.
Now I feel myself tearing up and I'm trying to fight it so that it won't come down. I succeed the first couple of times but it became too unbearable. No matter how much I tried to look up to get it to go back down, it wouldn't and came down. My brother seen it and I tried to quickly wipe it away because I really didn't want my dad to see me cry but it was too late. So I turned around and tried to wipe my tears away and my dad is like Shay why you crying, I'm fine. My brother says she not crying she just has allergies lol. Of course my dad is like hey do I look stupid to you.
I felt kind of bad though because we are suppose to be strong for him and we're not suppose to cry in front of him and I wasn't able to do that. I am always the strong one and I let a moment of weakness slip out. I know sometimes you just can't help it but I should've fought harder. I just couldn't bear the sight. He looked so small and frail and like he wasn't in control anymore and idk...
After a while my brother took me out in the hall for us to talk and he's like you should've never cried in front of him and I'm like I know but it's not like I planned it. I kind of vented to my brother too. I told him we aren't suppose to see daddy like this. He's suppose to be the strong one, the funny one, the one who acts like a big kid with us. But instead he's layed up in the hospital trying to get better, not really knowing if he will.
My dad keeps putting up this big front as if everything is okay but I know he's dying inside. I know he doesn't want us to see him this way and it hurts me so much. I try not to think about it because everytime I do I cry and I don't want to.
When we were leaving, I could tell in his eyes he didn't want us to go. He didn't want us to leave him in the hospital by himself. I could tell he wants to just come home...but he can't. I wish this pain coul just go away and things could go back to the way they were..but will it????
First off we get to the hospital and my mom waits in the hall because she hasn't spoken to my dad since they seperated. I walk into the room and my brother is already in there and he's talking to the doctor about the procedure my dad just went through for his dialysis. After he leaves my dad asks where my mom is and I'm like she's in the hallway...she doesn't know if she should come in or not. So he goes tell her to come...go get her. Now I was shocked because my dad has always made it his duty to avoid seeing or being around my mom. So I bring her into the room and he says hi and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then we all start talking and he tells us about what they did to him and all that.
Now I feel myself tearing up and I'm trying to fight it so that it won't come down. I succeed the first couple of times but it became too unbearable. No matter how much I tried to look up to get it to go back down, it wouldn't and came down. My brother seen it and I tried to quickly wipe it away because I really didn't want my dad to see me cry but it was too late. So I turned around and tried to wipe my tears away and my dad is like Shay why you crying, I'm fine. My brother says she not crying she just has allergies lol. Of course my dad is like hey do I look stupid to you.
I felt kind of bad though because we are suppose to be strong for him and we're not suppose to cry in front of him and I wasn't able to do that. I am always the strong one and I let a moment of weakness slip out. I know sometimes you just can't help it but I should've fought harder. I just couldn't bear the sight. He looked so small and frail and like he wasn't in control anymore and idk...
After a while my brother took me out in the hall for us to talk and he's like you should've never cried in front of him and I'm like I know but it's not like I planned it. I kind of vented to my brother too. I told him we aren't suppose to see daddy like this. He's suppose to be the strong one, the funny one, the one who acts like a big kid with us. But instead he's layed up in the hospital trying to get better, not really knowing if he will.
My dad keeps putting up this big front as if everything is okay but I know he's dying inside. I know he doesn't want us to see him this way and it hurts me so much. I try not to think about it because everytime I do I cry and I don't want to.
When we were leaving, I could tell in his eyes he didn't want us to go. He didn't want us to leave him in the hospital by himself. I could tell he wants to just come home...but he can't. I wish this pain coul just go away and things could go back to the way they were..but will it????
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)