Massaging Your Way to the Draws

Sorry readers but I definitely got sidetracked last post. I was initially going to write about how guys use "massages" as a way to have sex. So I will just do that post now lol.

Now as mentioned in my last blog, Mr. WipeMeDown definitely wooed me in with the intentions of getting a massage that never happened. But I realize that this wasn't the first time it happened. A couple years ago I was talking to a friend and he asked me to come over after the club and I went. We are just laying on the bed watching tv when he ask if I'd like a massage so I, of course, say ok. So I lay on my stomach and he starts giving me a massage. During this massage, he starts kissing on my neck (which is one of my weaknesses) and from then on I was all his.

Another time I was hanging out with a homeboy who offered to give me a massage and as he was doing so he lifted up my dress and started massaging my butt. Now nothing happened in this particular instance because I really wasn't trying to go that route with said guy but I know if I allowed him to continue, we would've definitely had sex.

I can name a few other times where guys always offer a massage with the intention of getting me turned on but it all leads to my conclusion that guys really think this is the way to get in the draws. Now most cases, it really does work but I wonder if they ever think of any other ways to try and initiate sex.

Has anyone else come to this conclusion from past experiences or am I on my own with this "hypothesis"??

Massage

I've come to notice that people use massages as way in, a way to get you alone and possibly engage in sexual activities.

When I first met Mr. WipeMeDown I wasn't interested in anything, not even a friendship really. To me he was just a friend of a friend. Then one day he hits me up on twitter asking about a certain movie which led to us exchanging numbers and talking about other things. Then we started talking about massages and I asked him for one. He went on to say if he gives me a massage I would have to be naked and I reply that would be fine, as long as there was a sheet over my bottom half. He said that would be fine but he would take a peak. We flirted back and forth but to me it was all just talk because I didn't think I would ever go there with him.

One night Mr. WipeMeDown texts me saying he would like his massage and I replied he has to give me one first and he said that would be fine. So I got in a cab and went over to his place. We sit up talking and watching tv until 4am and then retreat to the bedroom for "bed". He gives me a tshirt to sleep in and I crawl into the bed. While laying there watching television, I turn on my side to see what he would do. Of course like any other male he puts his arm around me and then slips it under my shirt. "O lord, He's already starting something" is all I'm thinking but I don't pull away. He then proceeds to turn me onto my back and then lifts up my shirt. He sucks on my breasts and starts to make his way down placing gentle kisses down my body. Now all I'm thinking is I know he is not going to do what I think. But boy was I wrong. He slips off my boy shorts and starts licking and sucking. From there he has me in his world and I give him what he wants, sex!! Now to say that it was great is an understatement. I was beyond shocked though because from his appearance I expected him to be small and the sex to not be all that but thank God I was wrong.

Next morning, I remind him that he never gave me my massage so he still owes me that and next time I want it. This began the sexapades with Mr. WipeMeDown.

New Beginnings

So since the last time I've been here, I've been fired and let go of Stuy.

As you all know I hated my job but it allowed me to have money in my pockets so I was somewhat grateful. Well new managers came into the store and couldn't stand the fact that I didn't hold my tongue on certain subjects, especially when it pertained to them not doing their job correctly. So they found a really stupid to let me go (which wasn't justified and I am forced to take action). The good thing about that is a temp agency was able to find me a position in an office and I have to say I love it wayyy better than my last job.

Stuy is gone people!!! I just couldn't stick around for the bullsh** anymore. Things just weren't the same with us and an incident occurred that really sent red flags my way. One day while doing the do he just suddenly got soft on me. My reaction..."WTF!!!!". Now automatically I thought it was my fault and he said it wouldn't happen again but I never put myself in that position to even let it happen again. I just let it go and told myself it was time to move on with my life.

So now I am looking for a permanent position as well as looking into finding a way to go back to school to get my MBA. I also started meeting other people which I will discuss in upcoming blogs. Stay Tuned!!

I'm Back...Promise!!!

Ok I know I keep taking these long breaks from here and always say I'm going to start blogging again but never do, but I am back for sure. I really missed this place and so much has been happening in my life that I needed to share but never did so I will be putting yall up to speed with a few things. Stay tuned pple...your girl is back :)

Settling Shouldn't Be an Option

I just finished this book called "A Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Zane and it really made me think about some things. The book focused around 2 separate couples who had nothing to do with each other and gave a description about their relationships. The first couple was Brooke and Patrick and they had a very weird but common relationship. Brooke was in love with Patrick and Patrick claimed that he loved her as well but he had a weird way of showing it. He disrespected her by calling her all sorts of things like bitch, fat, sloppy etc... whenever she didn't do things he wanted her to do and he never stood up for her when it came to his parents or family friends. No matter how many times he disrespected Brooke, she would leave but she always came back. She even witnessed him sleeping with another woman and she came back to him after leaving for a few weeks.

This relationship is really what had me thinking because its not an unusual scenario. Many women (and men for that matter) find themselves in this predicament where they know that they are in an unhealthy relationship and that they do deserve better, yet they continue to stay with their significant other. In the book Brooke's friend makes a comment that all men step out on their ladies at some point in the relationship and you just have to accept the fact because it is inevitable. I don't know how many women actually believe that, but I know I wouldn't stand for it. I don't think all men cheat, although a majority do, I do think there are men out there that are faithful. As for women that actually believe that they should just accept the fact that their man is cheating on them and just turn the other cheek, news flash, you need to move on. I don't think anyone should feel that they need to stay in a relationship because they can't do better or anything. There is someone out there for everyone and just because a relationship isn't working out doesn't mean that you need to stay in it to just wait and see if things will get better. You can't change someone if they don't want to change for themselves.

Brooke kept going back to Patrick believing that she would never find a man better than him, but once she finally doing something with her life, she realized that she could do better and ended up with a better man who respected her.

Ashamed and Embarrassed

As I mentioned before, my trip to LA was pretty good. I had a good time with my friends but the trip also brought out some deep emotions that I never really acknowledged before.

Now I have never really dwelled on the fact that I don't walk around with designer bags, shoes or accessories because in the end I can't afford that type of stuff right now. There has been times where I'm with friends and they have on their expensive purses and glasses and I'm rocking regular stuff and I feel a lil "unfortunate", but the feeling would fade as soon as it comes. Well on this particular trip, this wasn't the case. We practically went to the mall everyday that we was in LA and my friends made it their duty to buy plenty of things each and every time. In my case, I didn't buy anything because I knew I didn't have much money due to me just coming from Mexico 2 days before going to LA. So I just gave my opinion on things that they were purchasing and just stayed to myself really.

Well 2 days ago we were at the mall and they are shopping yet again and just picking up things and just charging it and it hit me that I probably wouldn't be able to do that for years. Then I just thought of how things were a lil easier with my daddy around and the water works started. I had my dark shades on that day so I just made sure to keep it from my friend. As she was shopping for glasses she offered to buy me a pair but I declined. I just didn't want the pity so I just walked away. The next morning I was going through my cash and realized that I had enough to pay for the hotel, valet and eat breakfast. So I tell my friend I wouldn't have enough for dinner and she said ok that wont be a problem. We went to the mall again that day and my friend insisted on buying me a pair of shoes and she did. I was grateful but deep down, I was still ashamed because I didn't have the money to buy it myself. She also ended up paying for my breakfast that day (and I was very confused on why she did so but when I tried to question it, she told me to hush so I left it alone). That evening as we were getting ready for dinner, she asked me if I was going to carry a bag and I replied that I wouldn't and she asked well how am I gonna carry my stuff and I just shrugged. She went on to ask how am I going to pay for dinner and that just struck a cord in me. My sensitive ass started to silently cry. I'm not quite sure what made me cry, but I think everything was just becoming too much for me. I felt like that was her way of letting me know that she didn't want to pay for me and she was tired of having to do so, I cried because my father would hate to see me depending on other people, I cried because I was embarrassed and felt little next to my friends (even though I know I shouldn't have felt that way). I called my sis and told her the situation and we decided that I just wouldn't eat anything but the lil heifer betrayed me and ended up telling my friend why I was upset and she got mad that I didn't tell her.

I've come to the point where now I don't want to ever feel like that again. Even though I hate my job, thats the way I can have some type of financial security. I also have decided to refrain from doing anything when not having the proper cash flow. I have always allowed my friend to pay for me when she insisted I come out even after telling her I wouldn't be able to pay but I am going to put an end to that. I can't keep allowing myself to feel so little. I will try and get my ish together because I know my dad is looking down on me and isn't happy at what he is seeing.

Vacations

I haven't blogged in what feels like ages mostly because I didn't really have anything to discuss. Everything in my life has been blah and I have been through an emotional roller coaster but nothing too serious.

Well I have gone on vacations with my girls. For memorial wknd I went to Cancun, Mexico and had a blast. Our hotel was nice and we met some new pple and drank day in and out. Every single one of my friends got drunk at least once, except for my alcoholic ass. I must've had like 10 shots, and drinks after drinks and I never got a buzz.. Of course we took millions of pictures and we got closer as we always do everytime we go on vacation together.

Two days after I came back from Mexico, I went to Los Angeles to celebrate my best friend's 23rd bday and we had a lot of fun there as well. Although it was just 3 of us that went, we were still able to have a good time and take just as many pics as we would have if all the girls were there. I loved LA but it isn't somewhere to visit if you are not financially stable so of course I did have my emotional roller coaster there as well, which I will discuss on another blog.

Now I am back home and tomorrow I go back to the hell hole I call my job. I hate that job but it's the only thing that is keeping money in my pocket so until I find a new gig (which I hope will happen really soon), I am stuck there. Pray for me pple because I need something soon before I have a complete meltdown.